Health: Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance,... - FML

By emilygreeny - 18/06/2010 05:42 - United States

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 470

You deserved it 57 098

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By xoxoblondee - 25/02/2017 07:00 - United States - Valley Village

Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 257

You deserved it 1 176

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 157

By notgood - 04/01/2021 16:01 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 316

By Anonymous - 26/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Perrysburg

Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 988

You deserved it 223

By Username - 30/04/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 134

You deserved it 7 968

Geometry

By sickpuppy - 08/09/2019 12:00

Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 14:50 - Canada

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 735

You deserved it 1 711

By michael - 14/02/2012 02:55 - United States

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 191

You deserved it 42 011

Droopy

By creepingjennie - 05/06/2020 02:00

Today, I learned that working while taking muscle relaxers is not as fun as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 552

By Anonymous - 01/10/2018 15:30

Today, I learned that one should not sleep with their roommate's friends, especially the ones that never go home. I spent the whole weekend in my room just to avoid the awkwardness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 573

You deserved it 3 515

Next

Top comments

lad088 0

Friday 18 June 2010 16:21

why would you even try that in the first place?

erikjh1234 0

Friday 18 June 2010 16:20

u got the squirts in your sleep!!! lmfao

Comments

sexysue 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 0:03

could of put a diaper on then your stupid idea of taking both pills would be ok. NOT! dumbass!! OP = original poster

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Saturday 19 June 2010 0:19

nocanhaz: I answered this question for you in ridiculous detail awhile ago; guess you missed it. It's on the FML about an OP needing 4 stitches on her elbow after cutting herself with a straw. Go check it out.

ToArthur2009 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 1:42

Fake. Sure this was on LFMF a while ago =

peppermintazn 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 1:45

crap.

xxBAMFxx 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 3:36

LOL sounds like you had "shitty nights sleep" xD

UnSatisfiedQueen 3

Saturday 19 June 2010 4:02

You woke up a shitty mess huh? That was very very extremely stupid of you. (Shaking my head with it slightly pointed down in a disgusted manner)

Kshanski 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 4:47

Did you get this from a Jimmy Johns sign? I think you did.

stewpididiot 11

Saturday 19 June 2010 7:42

Haha....Now we know your sleep number is 2 this is going on my favs fo sho !!

nichybabie 1

Saturday 19 June 2010 7:45

wow

Autoimmunity 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 7:53

ydi for not wearing a diaper

4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 039

You deserved it 3 978

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 193

You deserved it 6 177

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 406

You deserved it 3 609

Today, thanks to 10 months of lockdown, the most intimate thing I have done on a Saturday night during this time is use a hobby knife to cut 1/4" thick calluses off my feet. I don't even walk anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 189

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 170

You deserved it 3 328

Today, I was on the phone with an Apple advisor, who helped me back up data to my computer using remote assistance. As we did, every file transferred showed up with a real-time preview. All of a sudden, the nude selfies I forgot about rolled in. He immediately shouted, “OH WOW.” It wasn’t a good “wow” either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 1 045