Health: Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance,...

By emilygreeny - 18/06/2010 05:42 - United States

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 470

You deserved it 57 098

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Same thing different taste

By xoxoblondee - 25/02/2017 07:00 - United States - Valley Village

Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 257

You deserved it 1 176

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 157

By notgood - 04/01/2021 16:01 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 316

By Anonymous - 26/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Perrysburg

Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 988

You deserved it 223

By Username - 30/04/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 134

You deserved it 7 968

Geometry

By sickpuppy - 08/09/2019 12:00

Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 14:50 - Canada

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 735

You deserved it 1 711

By michael - 14/02/2012 02:55 - United States

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 191

You deserved it 42 011

Droopy

By creepingjennie - 05/06/2020 02:00

Today, I learned that working while taking muscle relaxers is not as fun as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 552

By Anonymous - 01/10/2018 15:30

Today, I learned that one should not sleep with their roommate's friends, especially the ones that never go home. I spent the whole weekend in my room just to avoid the awkwardness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 573

You deserved it 3 515

lad088 0

Friday 18 June 2010 16:21

why would you even try that in the first place?

erikjh1234 0

Friday 18 June 2010 16:20

u got the squirts in your sleep!!! lmfao

Comments

Brittonica 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 8:01

AHAHAHAHAHA omg this is the funniest fml ever!

kay729 7

Saturday 19 June 2010 8:02

D: that must have been a pleasant next morning

bugmenotmofo 34

Saturday 19 June 2010 8:40

Fake... Thats a very old joke

anavv 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 9:02

No shit...well actually a lot of shit I guess

r0kstaar 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 10:33

ydi for lack of common sense.

curtyman11 9

Saturday 19 June 2010 10:50

if you poop in your dreams, you poop in real life!

frenchie45 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 12:42

lmaoo woww!!! thatsss funny(; hah yur shiittt yur pants and didn't know it! hah I think yu should wash yur sheets .. or throw them out!!

asdfdsa 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 19:48

sounds like you really shit the bed... badum *pssh*

eduardosuritalov 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 0:11

wow, that musta been one hell of a nite...

lovablekennyXD 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 0:26

lol now that's what you call a hotpocket...nasty shit between 2 sheets XD lmao I crack myself up! :D

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USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

The Top

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 399

You deserved it 2 780

Today, a friend and I attempted to jump the 7-foot high fence around his gated community because he'd left his keys. He made it. I didn’t. My shorts caught on the top of the fence, so I was forced to dangle there on a busy street until my Dad came and helped. But only after taking a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 069

You deserved it 34 598

Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 514

You deserved it 6 739

Today, I was driving home from an event on the coast. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, and before I realised what'd happened, I ended up 20 km out of a town that I don’t even live in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 1 417

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and filmed it, because it would "be a big hit on YouTube." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 239

You deserved it 1 996

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 053

You deserved it 6 454

Same thing different taste

Stuck

Geometry

Droopy

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