Work: Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a...

By Anonymous - 26/04/2011 07:49 - United States

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 865

You deserved it 3 740

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 967

You deserved it 3 987

By JessMelodique - 14/12/2016 03:01

Today, I finally decided to try an alternative to peanut butter, since I found out I was allergic a while back. Two hours later I had to be sent home because the allegedly allergen-free SunButter caused my lips and throat to swell and patches of rashes to form all over my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 231

You deserved it 737

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 01:07 - United States - Elkhart

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 832

You deserved it 2 134

Drive-by casualty

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Fairfax

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 035

You deserved it 2 721

By Allergic - 24/01/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 364

You deserved it 3 457

Close shave

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 02:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 451

By peanutprobs - 31/10/2014 21:12 - Germany - Bochum

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 891

You deserved it 3 337

By phlyingphuck - 19/07/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 599

You deserved it 4 643

Not a sponsored post

By nutfreak - 12/08/2013 15:24 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 613

You deserved it 3 635

Sorry, but it's a no

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 15:01 - Australia - The Oaks

Today, after years of battling mental health and unemployment, I was rejected from a job packing tomatoes. Apparently I'm unsuitable for even the most basic work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 99

marinus_fml 19

Tuesday 26 April 2011 15:57

Why the **** did you apply there then?

tcox1 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 16:30

They are legumes, not nuts. Try looking it up before you act so sure of yourself. Just because it has nut in the word does not make it a nut. i.e a starfish is not a fish.

Comments

ktrox39 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 9:12

agree with 99 peanuts are legumes not nuts so technically you should not be allergic so this isn't really an FML.

illusion44 0

Friday 29 April 2011 8:31

peanuts aren't nuts. Theyr legumes. iv been deathly allergic to tree nuts all my life. there's a big difference

Venith 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 11:10

suck to be gay

VJ_Pyro 0

Friday 6 May 2011 21:38

Good thing it's PEAnut butter, not not nut butter, unless you're allergic to lagooms.

SamiGirl19 2

Saturday 7 May 2011 8:05

peanuts arent nuts... they are lagooms so it wouldnt be relevant. GOT EM ... liar.

Sirin_fml 46

Saturday 7 May 2011 8:33

Closing comments. For all the people screaming fake, please actually do the research next time. While legumes are not nuts, mass shelling and their crushing creates airborne particles which can trigger allergic reactions, as can the residues left behind on surfaces.