Work: Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a...

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By Anonymous - 26/04/2011 07:49 - United States

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 875

You deserved it 3 743

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 977

You deserved it 3 990

By JessMelodique - 14/12/2016 03:01

Today, I finally decided to try an alternative to peanut butter, since I found out I was allergic a while back. Two hours later I had to be sent home because the allegedly allergen-free SunButter caused my lips and throat to swell and patches of rashes to form all over my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 236

You deserved it 740

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 01:07 - United States - Elkhart

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 840

You deserved it 2 137

Drive-by casualty

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Fairfax

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 038

You deserved it 2 726

By Allergic - 24/01/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 369

You deserved it 3 460

Close shave

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 02:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 454

By peanutprobs - 31/10/2014 21:12 - Germany - Bochum

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 898

You deserved it 3 339

By phlyingphuck - 19/07/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 607

You deserved it 4 644

Not a sponsored post

By nutfreak - 12/08/2013 15:24 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 622

You deserved it 3 637

Sorry, but it's a no

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 15:01 - Australia - The Oaks

Today, after years of battling mental health and unemployment, I was rejected from a job packing tomatoes. Apparently I'm unsuitable for even the most basic work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 104

marinus_fml 19

Tuesday 26 April 2011 15:57

Why the **** did you apply there then?

tcox1 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 16:30

They are legumes, not nuts. Try looking it up before you act so sure of yourself. Just because it has nut in the word does not make it a nut. i.e a starfish is not a fish.

Comments

Charlotteeexx 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 1:02

a peanut isn't actually a nut, so you'll be fine :)

cod3rEd 2

Wednesday 27 April 2011 1:56

why the **** would you put an application in to a peanut butter factory????? omg I hope you die for that ydi dicklick

duckeater22 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 1:58

dont eat them then dumb nuts.

otenny722 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 2:24

Peanuts aren't nuts. They're legumes.

thebangzfan 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 2:26

sooo u dnt like dick???who dont like dickk =pppp

Venith 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 11:16

lol

Skatejock21 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 2:52

Brutal. I know how you feel, I'm severely allergic to nuts. However, YDI for applying for the job. Even I'm not that stupid to apply at a job where I have allergies I'd have to deal with.