Kids: Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year...

By Cuzles - 23/03/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 594

You deserved it 36 224

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Same thing different taste

By angie24w - 07/08/2018 23:30

Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 827

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 899

You deserved it 13 670

By peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 224

You deserved it 334

This is terrible!

By Baddad - 24/11/2019 20:00

Today, as I stepped out the door and heard it lock behind me, I realized I had forgotten both my keys and my baby inside. There's no other way in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 1 117

Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

By mama bear - 16/10/2019 18:00

Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 340

By slashteddy - 09/09/2009 23:30 - United States

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 959

You deserved it 2 809

By Lola - 08/08/2010 14:32 - United Kingdom

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 505

You deserved it 38 094

So pissed

By soaked - 25/02/2013 19:16 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 563

You deserved it 9 078

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 866

By frozenpoo - 21/01/2015 02:05 - United States

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 659

You deserved it 5 021

brianjman14 22

Wednesday 23 March 2011 21:56

I'm not sure about this, but can a two year old even reach the doorknob on the door? And if it could, why not got those things that you have to squeeze in order to turn the doorknob? (I'm not sure what they are, I just saw them at my uncle's house. They're safety doorknob something?)

firegirl1993 21

Wednesday 23 March 2011 21:56

plans that seem good at the time...them end up being horrible XD

Comments

RyanMacVey 17

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:14

who wants tae start a pure random convo???

OCDC 9

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:17

Your friends on myspace

RyanMacVey 17

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:21

ugh they dont like ma comments coz a cant spell ): fukk this website ... aint ma fault am fukkin retarded

vsx2000goton 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:30

It's the ink poisoning you get from giving pens ******** that makes you retarded.

playboyintown 4

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:33

are you sure you posted on the right place?

Xquisite1 28

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:16

Ever heard of a gate or control of your child, I have two children and never,ever have I dealt with any of the problems with my children that I read about here on fml. just poor parenting.

melons 44

Thursday 24 March 2011 1:06

Never mind control of their child - they need to learn to control their bowels first.

Texast 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 5:05

I have twin 3 yr nieces. they are very well behaved kids but they still get into stuff. never criticize parents on raising their children.

SirEBC 7

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:22

At that point I probably would have just kicked the door down. Desperation gives me strength.

humorizer 14

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:24

My voice gives me strength.

Jizwold 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 23:32

pcp gives me strength

DynamicDave 11

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:12

Bagels give me strength.

devinmurnan 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 4:37

crystal meth cupcakes give me strength.

docscientist 9

Thursday 24 March 2011 9:49

Tony Danza gives me strength.

cptmorgan15 2

Thursday 24 March 2011 12:48

Hold me closer Tony Danza, count the headlights on the highway.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 23 March 2011 22:22

What a great way to ensure your kid will never be potty trained. How about watching your kid to make sure he doesn't do something you don't want him to do? Or is parental supervision obsolete these days?

TheDrifter 23

Thursday 24 March 2011 4:48

Yes, unfortunately it is doc. I'm obsessed with the news and at least once a week there is a "my baby was lost for six hours before I noticed" sob story. Not to mention all the ones where some angry mothers group is trying to have a common product banned because their idiot children were left alone with it long enough to hurt themselves.