Kids: Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year...

By Cuzles - 23/03/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 594

You deserved it 36 224

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By angie24w - 07/08/2018 23:30

Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 827

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 899

You deserved it 13 670

By peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 224

You deserved it 334

This is terrible!

By Baddad - 24/11/2019 20:00

Today, as I stepped out the door and heard it lock behind me, I realized I had forgotten both my keys and my baby inside. There's no other way in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 1 117

Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

By mama bear - 16/10/2019 18:00

Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 340

By slashteddy - 09/09/2009 23:30 - United States

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 959

You deserved it 2 809

By Lola - 08/08/2010 14:32 - United Kingdom

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 505

You deserved it 38 094

So pissed

By soaked - 25/02/2013 19:16 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 563

You deserved it 9 078

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 866

By frozenpoo - 21/01/2015 02:05 - United States

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 659

You deserved it 5 021

brianjman14 22

Wednesday 23 March 2011 21:56

I'm not sure about this, but can a two year old even reach the doorknob on the door? And if it could, why not got those things that you have to squeeze in order to turn the doorknob? (I'm not sure what they are, I just saw them at my uncle's house. They're safety doorknob something?)

firegirl1993 21

Wednesday 23 March 2011 21:56

plans that seem good at the time...them end up being horrible XD

Comments

baseballin25 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 7:39

why dont you stop being lazy and teach your kid not to make a mess.

vickilouise 1

Thursday 24 March 2011 8:14

#1 yes a 2 year old can reach the door knobs and yea you can get the safety door knob things but some kids outsmart those. my second child opened doors with those on them after a week of them being on. she opened doors before she was 2.

vickilouise 1

Thursday 24 March 2011 8:16

and to everyone saying what a horrible parent op is for having the gall to lock her kid out of the bathroom...I curse you all with 2 year olds that destroy everything in their wake good frigging luck!

xgetxbentx 13

Thursday 24 March 2011 8:58

they make child proof locks for a reason. this would be one of them. ydi.

monnanon 13

Thursday 24 March 2011 14:56

Once again the childless are out in force telling us how bad we are because we dont follow our kids around the house or tie them up somewhere on a long leash. It is a fact of life that two year old kids are curious and want to get in everywhere. It is also a fact that things that are deemed 'childproof' only cause problems for people over ten years old. Babies and young children are adept at opening doors, squeezing through stairgates and opening those clickly childproof lids. A bathroom is dangerous where unsupervised kids are concerned so it is probably the right choice to lock it.

Flipflops4ever 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 15:15

Using my iPhone so don't kno where this will end up but in response to comments on my post: 117: I never sd parents shdn't watch their children, it applies to making sure children don't put anything dangerous in their mouth (actually shit is less dangerous than a bottle cap, mouthwash, acetaminophen, a screw etc, it has nothing to do with natural child rearing. 120: there's a diff btwn potty training & math. Pets can learn using litter box almost instinctively. they can't b taught reading or algebra. I actually sort of agree with 130--let children learn by imitating with a little help. Like the OP. She shdn't have locked the bathroom door - if the kid makes a mess trying to use the bathroom, let him & clean it up. That's part of parenting. He is trying to figure it out, I didn't like her shutting the kid out of there.

monnanon 13

Thursday 24 March 2011 17:48

Its not a little pee on the floor that OP is trying to prevent. Its a blocked toilet with toys down it or rolls and rolls of paper strewn around the house. There may even be a surprise paint job curtosy of OPs favourite shampoo because thats what little kids do. Making a mess when learning to use a toilet is expected but a conpletely destroyed bathroom is not.

monnanon 13

Thursday 24 March 2011 17:52

as for my comment you replied to (130) what i meant by saying that kids are mimicking the motions is that it is not an unnatural thing we are forcing upon them. They are ready to learn. However kids do learn from mimicking first, they will use thier spoon and maybe not pick up any food but they have the right idea.

MakaylaCommisso 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 18:24

shit for brains.

bigantennaemay 3

Thursday 24 March 2011 19:21

hmmmm... how many times i gotta tell people DON'T HAVE KIDS. nothing good can come of it. YDI OP, for having kids, i got no sympathy for ya.

someguy314159265 15

Friday 25 March 2011 6:03

Finally, another person who agrees with me about kids. Unfortunately, we're part of a tiny minority, and our voices can never be heard over the voices of the millions of crying babies being born every second.