Love: Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's...

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By Satan - 15/03/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 415

You deserved it 9 187

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Same thing different taste

By badwife - 07/11/2009 10:22 - Japan

Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 396

You deserved it 17 368

A nickname that sticks

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 876

You deserved it 10 534

By phonegotlostinthepark - 03/12/2013 17:54 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 204

You deserved it 4 170

By Anonymous - 19/06/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 472

You deserved it 5 401

By Jill - 15/06/2013 04:19 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 364

You deserved it 22 760

Memory man

By Dad Fail - 07/02/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 123

By Soontobeex - 15/09/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 590

You deserved it 4 682

By dumbass - 01/10/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 791

You deserved it 5 881

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 157

You deserved it 6 431

Friends like these

By veggocake - 26/09/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 810

You deserved it 63 468

shessocold 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 9:09

Uh, why did you have to go through the contact list? Don't you know your own cell number by heart?

behindthemask 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 9:04

haha

Comments

Avelnan 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 6:28

thats just bogus

cowcowkrm 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 8:38

well women are kinda the devil...

FockinA 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 10:28

i agree with =^ you must now look at your life and sob. or atleast make changes. start with attitude.

Reaperonin 1

Friday 19 March 2010 1:55

I think..... your probably an aweful nag and he secretly resents you to the core.. ydi for being an aweful wife. A Gold star

ulovemelongtime 0

Friday 19 March 2010 2:48

ahhahahahahahahahah Lmfao omg that is too funny!!!

masterrbASIAN 0

Friday 19 March 2010 5:34

you should date my boyfriend, you guys might have tons in common.

LIKmyNUTZ 0

Friday 19 March 2010 19:51

number 204 (read my name)

metalcrue 0

Sunday 21 March 2010 18:05

you don't know you're own phone number?

cautionxflirt08 0

Monday 22 March 2010 3:06

that's so funnny. #29 winnnns...i'm stillllll laughing about that

VigilanteZero 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 4:16

FTW! That shit's pretty funny.

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Today, my best friend got engaged. I would be happy for her, if it wasn’t for the fact that her fiancé was my boyfriend just 2 months ago. Upon hearing the news, I severed all ties with her. She ended up bitching me out and calling me selfish for being upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 131

Today, the first guy I tried to have sex with at university got his foreskin stuck in his zip and had to go to hospital for stitches. He told all his friends I did it on purpose with my teeth during a blowjob. I now have a reputation, so I guess I'm staying single for the next 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 246

You deserved it 731

The Top

Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 077

You deserved it 1 225

Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 701

You deserved it 9 768

Today, on the third day after I developed what I thought was gout for the first time in my 62 years, it turns out it was just a spider bite on my toe. My wife still thinks I had been drinking on the sly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 109

Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 217

You deserved it 6 730

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 912

You deserved it 23 844

Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying, "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 744

You deserved it 2 233

Same thing different taste

A nickname that sticks

Memory man

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