By aireeahna - 09/06/2014 02:42 - United States - Cedar Rapids
aireeahna tells us more.
Op here. So to start off I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. The issue never really came up over the years because we were never really around babies, he is really good with children so I just assumed that he was good with babies as well. When it did come up we were at his little brother's graduation party. I was holding a cousins newborn baby and asked him to hold him so that I could go to the bathroom but instead of taking the baby he backed away from me almost stumbling over his own feet because he was in such a hurry to get out of the situation. I asked his mother what his problem was and she just said that he has always been scared to hold babies since his brother was born. I have yet to tell him that we are expecting because our 5 year anniversary is at the end of this month and I wanted to tell him while we're on vacation. The baby is obviously unplanned but I don't regret getting pregnant and I'm sure that my boyfriend will be just as happy as I am with the news. The only other person who knows right now is my best friend who is due in September and she is going to let him practice hold the baby so that he'll be more comfortable but until then I think we'll stick to dolls and toddlers :p
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I admit, I'm almost 27 and I've never held a baby so I'm worried about it when I have children. But my mother was in the same position and it came naturally to her when she had me and my sister so I imagine it'll click for me too. I think your boyfriend will be fine. It's just his anxiety of what is to come, but when he sees his first child he'll loosen up and he'll be fine.
It's different when it's your own. My boyfriend was uncomfortable with holding ours at first. Now 4 1/2 months off I have to pry him out of his hands for cuddles. It's all about practice x
I showed this FML to my dad, and he says to tell your boyfriend that it's going to be fine. The day I was born he was terrified and couldn't give me back to Mom fast enough. A week later, he was carrying me everywhere. And 3 years later when my brother was born, he was looking forward to holding a little baby again. It does get better.
He will get over it
First off: Congrats OP! Second of all: Talk to him about it, maybe get a life like doll for him to hold, and show him how to hold a baby. Hopefully when that baby of yours is here and ready to be held, he'll be eager to hold his child! :3 Good luck and congrats again!
I think that pushing against it is the worst thing you can do. My hubby has a bad phobia, and the best thing I can do for it is to be respectful and slowly show him that there is nothing to be afraid of. If I push him, his immediate reaction is to close up, which can even make it worse. But I think when your bf looks at that child for the first time, he's going to want to hold him/her :)
A piece of advice to ease him into it, if he's scared of dropping the baby, is to have him hold the baby while he's already sitting down. It's much easier to hold them in a sitting position first. :) Hope that helps.
You should get him help. You're only 5 weeks. There is time to get him help!
He'll get over it. Most men have that phobia.
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Try to teach him??
Maybe he's scared of dropping it on accident..?