By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 086
You deserved it 21 075
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Top comments

Pleonasm 35

Laser Pen that bastard into a bin and voilà.

223 5

Comments

JustinKirby 20

I know this is never the answer but just kick it out of the damn way wear long pants and sleeves so it can't scratch your arms and legs and goodluck OP

11 25
Anonomusturd 9

That's a bad idea. Cats hold grudges and they are in your home at all times. They will make you regret it..

14 4
Alicestraza 33

Or squirt it with water rather than kicking an animal..

8 0
iSativa 24

Forceful love? Lure it away from the door with milk!

6 9
JanisEvans 10

They do, but they really shouldn't. They're very much lactose intolerant.

5 0
Anonomusturd 9

Cats really know how to ruin your day. That's just how it is having a cat, he is your new master now.

4 11
starile 19

This is actually probably realy helpful advice for the OP. Cats can't get over that shit.

4 2
Beepbeep7 14

Your cat has dependency issues.

2 1
darwinism 30

What have you done to pisd it off so much? Cat grudges can last years OP. Good luck with that?

9 4
sythe511 28

Step 1: Obtain broom. Step 2: Shove/Whack/Sweep cat out of the way. Step 3: Throw down broom, and quickly exit.

19 5
AriBunBun 7

aww man.. that'll teach me not to read all the comments before posting my own... fml.

2 7