Animals: Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave....

By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 086

You deserved it 21 075

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Same thing different taste

LET ME IN!

By Sam - 15/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 126

By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 323

You deserved it 5 781

By unloved cat owner - 16/02/2014 00:50 - United States - Carmichael

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I tried to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 663

You deserved it 9 475

By Anonymous - 22/10/2009 02:58 - United States

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 813

You deserved it 6 966

The creepy guy next door

By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 110

You deserved it 4 484

Feral kitty

By Polar Bear 2020 - 24/04/2024 17:30 - India

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 93

Crowded house

By upset - 25/10/2016 00:08

Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 262

You deserved it 914

My precious baby

By Anonymous - 08/11/2013 23:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 680

You deserved it 8 734

Needy baby

By nosleeptilpissoff - 18/03/2011 15:54 - United States

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 421

You deserved it 6 390

By catslave - 17/09/2016 08:43 - New Zealand

Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 068

You deserved it 1 885

confusedAsFuck 34

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:09

Pussy blocked

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:09

Laser Pen that bastard into a bin and voilà.

Comments

chisty87 16

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:43

I'll write it in stead of clicking it up there...You Fucken Deserve It

tracyswingkid 8

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:44

Put a treat every four feet leading to the other side of your apartment and you will be golden.

DKjazz 20

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:11

"Ooh, piece of candy. Ooh, piece of candy.".

BobbieH 19

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:48

First you're a cat owner; that alone puts you in hole as far as I'm concerned. Then to allow your cat to keep you from doing anything is ridiculous. Its a cat, you are the owner, deal with your animal!

JanisEvans 10

Tuesday 3 September 2013 14:58

You don't own cats. They own you.

evolute72113 9

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:51

That cat b pipin

Angelofnv 2

Friday 6 September 2013 6:55

An apple?

peacefully84 19

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:55

Spray bottle of water... or, failing that, a glass of water. He'll run away before he can scratch you.

MysteryGuest214 10

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:19

Very much this. It's a remarkable cat that can stand up to a glass of water in the face.

nyxiny 22

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:55

Squirt bottle. Cat needs to be taught boundaries, and fast, or else he/she will develop more habits like this. Then, when you are free to, spend some quality affection time with him, making sure he/she understands you still love him and just have to leave sometimes. If you aren't able to teach your pet basic rules, you and your pet are going to live a mutually unhappy life together.

Pinkfun69 4

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:57

That is simply amazing!!

Ziggy122 15

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:09

Cats are jerks.

srogue74 5

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:10

or... you can kick it with steel toed boots to get it out of the way, and if it tries to do anything, throw it out the window. because cats ALWAYS land on their feet, and they have 9 lives to back that fall up.