Animals: Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave....

By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 086

You deserved it 21 075

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Same thing different taste

LET ME IN!

By Sam - 15/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 126

By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 323

You deserved it 5 781

By unloved cat owner - 16/02/2014 00:50 - United States - Carmichael

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I tried to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 663

You deserved it 9 475

By Anonymous - 22/10/2009 02:58 - United States

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 813

You deserved it 6 966

The creepy guy next door

By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 110

You deserved it 4 484

Feral kitty

By Polar Bear 2020 - 24/04/2024 17:30 - India

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 93

Crowded house

By upset - 25/10/2016 00:08

Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 262

You deserved it 914

My precious baby

By Anonymous - 08/11/2013 23:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 680

You deserved it 8 734

Needy baby

By nosleeptilpissoff - 18/03/2011 15:54 - United States

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 421

You deserved it 6 390

By catslave - 17/09/2016 08:43 - New Zealand

Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 068

You deserved it 1 885

confusedAsFuck 34

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:09

Pussy blocked

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:09

Laser Pen that bastard into a bin and voilà.

Comments

Cujo3269 9

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:25

Kick the Damn thing. Establish dominance

8born8 18

Tuesday 3 September 2013 2:07

That only works for dogs, as they are a 'pack' animal. Dogs have a hierarchy with the alpha male at the top. Cats are self centered creatures with no regard for anything except its' own hide.

anonymousy37 5

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:28

Throw a blanket over it and walk out...simple

JCxParkour 3

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:34

Kick the damn thing out of the way, and I guarantee you he won't do it again.

Bebbo_fml 21

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:34

A new meaning to pussy whipped.

sNOOBie_fml 24

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:39

Just go. Show it you're superior. You may get scratched, but it's going to learn who's in charge.

Gho5tk3y 17

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:41

My cats hate the sound of a vacuum and always run away, try that next to the door. Good luck

Jbyerly 2

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:43

You do realize that is a symptom of severe separation anxiety?

ViviMage 39

Tuesday 3 September 2013 1:56

Get a water bottle or spray/splash the cat

8born8 18

Tuesday 3 September 2013 2:12

Cats have slaves, dogs have masters. The only truly affectionate & loyal breed of cat that I know of is the Siamese. Most of the time felines only show affection or give humans attention when they want something and can't do it themselves.

JanisEvans 10

Tuesday 3 September 2013 14:59

My cats are all very affectionate. Treat them right and they are the most loyal companions you'll ever have.

blackonblight 32

Wednesday 4 September 2013 8:00

Or when they've adopted the human as their parent or child. My calico is such a baby, she freaks out when she doesn't have access to me. 'Mommy's in the shower! That's a whole room away, she's in the house, I can hear her, but I don't know exactly what she's doing, no! Meeeeeee-yuuuuuu! Meeee-yuuuu! Mee*squeak*! ' works herself into a fit. Sometimes I just spoil her and leave the bathroom door open, and she sits in front of the sink and waits happily, so she can shadow me around the house.