Health: Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 10:15 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 971

You deserved it 3 121

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Same thing different taste

By aragmir - 18/12/2016 06:10 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 701

You deserved it 2 875

By janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 811

You deserved it 12 748

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 471

You deserved it 4 937

Fit as a fiddle

By Anonymous - 09/07/2018 20:30

Today, I, a man in his 40s, had to be taken to the hospital because I was laughing so hard at an old Disney movie that my diaphragm went into spasms. I stopped breathing and passed out for a few minutes, and my son had to call an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 016

You deserved it 434

By Ashley J. - 01/03/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 289

You deserved it 17 546

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 16:00

Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 371

You deserved it 272

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 6 052

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 164

You deserved it 5 808

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 2 553

Easy mistake

By helper - 01/12/2009 06:15 - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 673

You deserved it 34 833

Next

Top comments

BadDay98 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

I guess in this case laughter isn't the best medicine

jsni2132 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

Well, I guess the joke was to die for. All jokes aside, that sucks, OP. Hope the guy is ok!

Comments

Carlitosfmc 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 13:30

Now I want to know what the joke was :S

Ninjamonkey901 4

Thursday 4 June 2015 14:09

I guess that's some pretty dark humour

SadSouthernBell 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 16:06

It must have been SOME joke.

Hop6e 22

Thursday 4 June 2015 18:04

I don't think I could ever may another joke after that. Care to share the joke? Really am sorry though, hope everything is okay now. And just so you know, it was NOT your fault!

TheIronFez 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 18:50

Oh jeez. Did you find out if he was ok? If so, good. And the fact that he laughed that hard means you're funny to him, so don't put this on yourself.

TheIronFez 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 19:02

You are a massive asshole.

Rkikkas9713 25

Thursday 4 June 2015 19:24

I'm really curious what the joke was.

TheBossBryson 11

Thursday 4 June 2015 19:29

Is he okay?

alex_jaguara 32

Thursday 4 June 2015 23:22

Don't feel guilty, OP. People get old. One day we all are going to experience some elder's difficulties.

jennlody 28

Thursday 4 June 2015 23:23

This reminds me of my Sims 4 game.. one guy walked into the house and fell on the floor laughing and literally died of laughter. All while my other sim was stuck outside as they didn't know how to enter a closed door. I seriously hate that game. OP, I hope he's alright, either way it's not your fault for trying to cheer him up.

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The Top

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 84

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

The Top

Today, I went into a store for an interview. I've had several places wanting to talk to me and this job was a lot lower paying. I got a little cocky and when offered the job, I said I wanted some time to finish my other interviews first and see what my options were. The manager then took back his offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 730

You deserved it 27 714

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 353

You deserved it 38 560

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 503

You deserved it 4 648

Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 752

You deserved it 2 964

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 790

You deserved it 6 851

Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 780

You deserved it 1 876