Work: Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term...

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 469

You deserved it 4 935

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 10:15 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 969

You deserved it 3 121

By Misspoopypants - 25/07/2017 05:00

Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 263

You deserved it 363

By StickyWicket - 14/05/2019 18:00

Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 130

By Poorlittlelady - 08/10/2018 22:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was helping my elderly dementia client with her toilet. I reached in both front and back to pull up her pants for her. "Not too hard, nice and easy..." she said with a weird smile. I looked over to see I was actually pulling her nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 147

You deserved it 671

By habassistant - 02/01/2013 15:49 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 037

You deserved it 5 249

By Crap - 12/04/2016 16:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 830

You deserved it 2 960

By thisreallyhappened - 15/05/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 786

You deserved it 3 981

Frozen

By Scarred for life - 13/03/2020 08:00

Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 153

By -_- - 15/03/2016 01:46 - United States - Inverness

Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 755

You deserved it 1 792

By random - 23/10/2013 22:41 - United States - Amarillo

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 172

You deserved it 2 606

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 13 June 2009 15:58

Oh wow. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

jio_freed 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 15:58

You must have magic fingers

Comments

jio_freed 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 15:58

You must have magic fingers

GrandTheftLlama 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 6:50

omg that is sooooo wrong. I wouldn't know whether to feel disgusted with myself or like a god.

wheatie 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 18:53

aww pry her first is a while. be happy you gave her tht simple pleasure before she dies.

12luck34 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 4:53

1- Hahahahahaha lolz (;

v8rax 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 4:39

lmao @ wheatie if that's how u spell it lol

Abbeygale 8

Thursday 14 March 2013 2:07

I thought they only allowed female carers to wash/help with personal things when the patient is female?

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 13 June 2009 15:58

Oh wow. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

hilda_kitty 16

Wednesday 9 June 2010 20:15

one of those baby bards, eh? they always taste the weirdest... how's that for gross?

fash 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 15:59

Ohhh, awkward.

Hawk42 16

Tuesday 23 December 2014 19:26

Do you mean hawkward?

myfairyoshi_fml 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 16:02

Ummm....... wow I think i just died a little on the inside. I now understand how you got a patient "really happy" O.o

wheatie 0

Monday 1 March 2010 4:24

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

iPeterPan 8

Thursday 5 April 2012 10:38

Kind of a bitch aren't we?

_cheeseballs 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 16:02

I lol'd majorly.

agifttotearapart 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 16:04

lollllll

love2shop 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 16:04

urghh ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

ZiggyMorrison 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 16:05

oh baaaaaby thats hot nothing like good ol granny orgasms

graceinsheepwear 33

Wednesday 16 October 2013 8:24

There are lots of younger people in long term care following injury or with chronic conditions. It doesn't say anywhere that she was old.

Sevenfold 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 16:07

LOLOL. I just spit up alittle...

princessxD 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 16:08

Lmfao, this is gross.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

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Today, thanks to that stupid ass blue dog, our kids haven’t stopped hounding me about when their dad and I are getting married. They’re too young to understand, so I try to gently change the subject. That worked for about 5 minutes before they were right back to asking. Holy uncomfortable subject Batman! FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 727

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 134

You deserved it 6 563

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her, "Just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and then turned to me to yell, "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 380

You deserved it 62 642

Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 137

Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 700

You deserved it 31 836

Today, due to some highly corrupted data that I had nothing to do with and no control over, around 5 years of pixel art I'd made, and spent most of my free time working on, has been permanently deleted, and there is no way to recover it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 350

Today, the girl I was going to hook up with took off her clothes and revealed she had an absolutely disturbing tattoo of a rotting zombie head on her lower stomach and groin, the idea being that during sex my penis would look like it was in the zombie's mouth. I couldn’t go through with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 208

Same thing different taste

Frozen

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