Love: Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve...

By cgold - 30/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 211

You deserved it 8 842

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

We Are Family

By bad dad - 15/03/2020 00:01

Today, I met my paternal grandparents for the first time, since my dad was never in my life and my mom wouldn’t talk about him. According to them, I have at least 28 other siblings from him, and who knows how many that haven’t come forward. No wonder my mom always hated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 016

You deserved it 133

Stellar parenting

By joi9496 - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 703

You deserved it 471

Very professional

By Really? I am? - 18/10/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, like every other month, I accompanied my paternal grandfather to visit his doctor who's as old as he is, and whom I never spoke to ever. As I waited outside, for the first time ever, grandpa had me come in to meet his doctor. The very moment I stepped into his office, he greeted me with a, "He's obese!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 227

By CaptainByron - 28/04/2017 00:00

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 383

You deserved it 313

Booze-fuelled family drama

By Anonymous - 08/02/2022 11:59

Today, I found out that the man I called grandpa for 40 years is really my dad. My drunk aunt spilled the beans. Her exact words were, "My dad is a better dad to you than he EVER was to me! You never wondered why he treated you better than his other grandchildren? You're his son!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 86

By brigitte - 27/06/2013 17:35 - France - Noyon

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 318

You deserved it 3 110

Dad jokes, part #23556

By ashamed - 28/10/2019 02:00

Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 196

Pleasant

By daddydaughterWTF - 02/08/2012 00:06 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 590

You deserved it 2 642

By Anonymous - 19/10/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, my dads cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time, in my entire adult life, that he has visited me at my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 106

You deserved it 2 748

By T - 01/10/2010 09:09 - France

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 854

You deserved it 3 750

betsymonty 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 16:14

It obviously didn't mean that much to him. I've learned that blood relationships don't mean as much as the relationships you've chosen to have.

BannedDistress78 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 16:15

how big is your 'rack?'

Comments

MissNae 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 18:58

@21- Paternal means on your fathers side, I think you have it confused with biological. OP - One way to look at it is FYL, but on the other hand YAY! you didn't grow up with a pervy Granddad.

forallitsworth 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 19:17

Hence that means your parents had better judgement.

TheLittlestNinja 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 19:17

im sorry miss

mattmag 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 19:18

#2 couldn't be more right. Just because you're family, it doesn't mean you have to like them.

kurohana_fml 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 19:29

I call BS. I've heard the same "joke" several times on several websites, starting quite a few years ago. Are you so desperate to get attention that you have to post here? Pathetic.

imagineyesterday 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 19:34

@ 28 and 30, I'm not sure that telling someone they have a nice rack is how you'd treat a stranger. :P Honestly, I think if you said that to strangers you'd get yourself sued.