Miscellaneous: Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the...

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 07:00 - United States

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 355

You deserved it 3 531

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 578

You deserved it 6 347

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 565

You deserved it 3 740

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 846

By jkin47 - 04/08/2010 01:44 - United States

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 674

You deserved it 4 043

By campus pussy - 22/03/2014 21:08 - United States - Ross

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 023

You deserved it 11 438

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 820

You deserved it 2 839

Roid rage incoming

By screwed - 22/12/2010 17:56 - Canada

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 370

You deserved it 4 285

By curlyisnogood - 10/01/2011 00:19

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 233

You deserved it 3 757

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 223

You deserved it 4 335

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 156

paid2think 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 16:06

That's epic.

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 20 October 2010 16:06

At-least he wasn't masturbating to it!

Comments

LilSideTwerk 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 15:42

wow. I bet he started crying when he lost 19 the next day. lol just kiddin'

mikeysayhay 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 20:18

HERE' A SOLUTION!!!!!!!!!! Find a new roomate...durrrrr X)

Chigagigaroo 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 12:41

Now that's what I call obsessive.

stevenmx86 7

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:52

He sounds kick ass!

K1A 3

Tuesday 18 October 2011 3:19

leeeeeroooy JENKIIINNNSSS!

DrewFluIngle 10

Wednesday 22 February 2012 15:21

You girls aren't going to be stealing this man's virginity anytime soon...

CherryToothache 17

Tuesday 24 April 2012 19:18

He sounds like fun D: Here's hoping he has some respect for roommates :| Or hide his keyboard.

FarscapeSDC 9

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:30

Dress up like a barbarian and challenge him to a duel. "Celts vs. Romans" should be an interesting fight.

COLDB3AR 6

Monday 4 June 2012 14:14

I would LOVE this man, and laugh at him.

jcbinglis 7

Monday 15 October 2012 5:31

As long as he doesn't wake you up then that's pretty awesome

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 515

The Top

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 218

You deserved it 2 537

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 199

You deserved it 4 377

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral, and he got so into it that he grabbed my hair. Just as he was about to climax, he pulled my hair so hard that my extensions came out. I jerked back and hit my head on the wall behind me. He then came in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 354

You deserved it 575

Today, my roommate expected me to help them buy them car, or loan them some money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 111

Today, I had people coming over to buy some chairs from me. I took a screenshot of their profile because I was home alone, and watch enough ID to be cautious. I thought I'd sent it to my fiancé. I'd sent it to them instead. Now my anxiety is through the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 1 272

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 587

You deserved it 6 631

Same thing different taste

Roid rage incoming

We're all in hell

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