Intimacy: Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never...

By theish - 04/02/2011 14:08

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 105

You deserved it 7 013

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/07/2019 16:05 - Germany - Kerpen

Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 1 753

Tanned

By caughtorangehanded - 01/10/2010 22:12 - United States

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 917

You deserved it 46 336

By cole66 - 29/11/2015 18:43 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 570

You deserved it 3 173

Caught red handed

By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 475

You deserved it 3 054

By Perpetually F-ed. - 17/01/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 367

You deserved it 9 328

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 31/03/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 905

You deserved it 4 584

Drink it instead!

By SpitBreathe - 25/10/2020 14:00 - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I found out why the amount of mouthwash hasn't been decreasing much recently when I walked in on my dad using it and then spitting some of it back in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 76

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 965

You deserved it 8 665

By redeye - 19/09/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 681

You deserved it 2 459

W.T.F.

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 06:00

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 115

You deserved it 614

ROFLBERRYPIE 0

Friday 4 February 2011 19:11

Better check your toothpaste.

uberletepoon 10

Friday 4 February 2011 19:15

check your sunscreen in the summer too. unless you like SPF 69

Comments

MrBoredGuy 1

Friday 4 February 2011 21:01

how gay do you have to be to "pump man juice" with your friends? how's that epic?

some_shit 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 19:30

they could have taken turns

SmallTownCutie 0

Friday 4 February 2011 21:02

OMFG!!!

KasCiaYr 0

Friday 4 February 2011 21:05

I can imagine not noticing the difference with fresh sperm, but an old sperm looks compleately different. It's liquid almost like water and it would be really stinky in couple days time couse it would get spoiled like any biological substance stored in room temperature. Didn't you notice swirls of flies around your hair..?

Guy_Smily 0

Friday 4 February 2011 22:56

hmm you seem really well informed about spunk, are you some sort of specialist? a jizzologist maybe...

JasonJ 5

Saturday 5 February 2011 1:23

Win^

noeyolivia 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 14:48

haha

boredmex01 2

Friday 4 February 2011 21:10

older brother nd friends FYT!

atadokayisacutie 0

Friday 4 February 2011 21:15

well.... did it work?

F3LiCkZ 0

Monday 7 February 2011 9:41

LOL genius question

neveropenthat 7

Friday 4 February 2011 21:20

that's nasty. who would even wanna do that as a joke

takemewithy0u 0

Friday 4 February 2011 21:23

Oh god! Gross!

davek 36

Friday 4 February 2011 21:30

I don't believe you.

guppy40000 0

Friday 4 February 2011 21:40

the smell from the actual lotion would disguise any smells, they make hair gels very girly smelling, perfumes and such. Nasty, i would get your brother and his friends in shit, whatever it takes. If your not comfortable with that then i would search online for the raunchiest pranks you can find and be merciless. i hear if you rub your butt on a pillow after pooping, obviously wipe most poop off before hand not to make it to obvious, you can give someone pink eye. Just a suggestion happy pranking.

guppy40000 0

Friday 4 February 2011 21:43

also if you fart right in your brothers face with your pants down as long as his eyes are open, he can also get pink eye this way. No i have never done any of these things of suggested but i have gross friends that have. I think it would be valid revenge based on what those dicks did to you.