Miscellaneous: Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By guessthatsatrickthen - 31/10/2015 17:19 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 192

You deserved it 1 976

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Why hello there...

By Shocked - 28/01/2018 19:00

Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 704

You deserved it 435

By Anonymous - 10/04/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 304

You deserved it 4 524

By Anonymous - 08/10/2012 22:27 - Canada - Truro

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 733

You deserved it 40 617

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 665

By DarkDolly - 04/02/2012 16:39 - France

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 046

You deserved it 3 177

By Lilly_28 - 11/08/2009 14:01 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 994

You deserved it 18 456

Maze

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 18:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while in a hotel, I left the room to get some ice. Since my parents left the door wedged open, I didn't worry about trying to find the room number. Without thinking, I walked in to another room that was also wedged open. Yes, there were people in it, and yes, they were both naked and hairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 974

You deserved it 9 215

By anonymous - 16/11/2011 03:17 - Canada

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 457

You deserved it 33 928

By noooo - 08/08/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 036

You deserved it 2 712

By trickortreat - 01/11/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 587

You deserved it 5 095

Next

Top comments

LadyKayDee 23

Sunday 1 November 2015 15:31

Maybe he wanted to give you some of his candy...

jayennachristine 23

Sunday 1 November 2015 15:32

trick or treat...or anal?

Comments

Debauchery7 17

Monday 2 November 2015 6:15

Are you sure he didn't mean he wanted to 'cum' in?

outfielder55 17

Monday 2 November 2015 6:15

Well, did you let him?

Xion0014 20

Monday 2 November 2015 11:54

I guess he wanted you to see his tricks and treats ;)

torrilupo 14

Monday 2 November 2015 11:59

Was ge trick or treating? Where did he put his candy?!?

loserman67 35

Monday 2 November 2015 14:30

Come in what...?

MeltedMango 8

Tuesday 3 November 2015 3:38

Always check the peep hole before opening the door. Always.

alexxxx92 9

Tuesday 3 November 2015 21:32

He tried the naked man from HIMYM. Works 2 out of 3 times

James_Briggs 15

Wednesday 4 November 2015 6:10

Well, the "naked man" is said to work two out of three times.

IvannaYakoff 11

Wednesday 4 November 2015 9:26

Its the naked man! Like in HIMYM

mommy21 16

Friday 6 November 2015 5:20

Did you let him in?? ?

3
4
5
6
7

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Love Healthy Lifestyle Sex Relatable Kids Parenting Relationship advice Argument Animals Embarrassing Dogs Poopoo peepee Vacation Money Capitalism Work Transportation Cars Dad jokes Parents Friends Birthday Family Surprise Shopping Zoom Cute Intimacy Paranoia Cheating

The Top

Today, I did an actual double take when my son complained about having to block the phone number of his most recent one-night stand when she got pregnant, but luckily he gave her a fake name, so he doesn’t have to delete his Facebook. How many grandkids do I have out there you little prick? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 577

You deserved it 653

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 1 884

The Top

Today, I told my mother I was doing fine with my classes when I actually wasn't because her mother is dying, and I didn't want her to have more things to stress about. She found out and she's very hurt. I feel awful about it and I know lying wasn't the right thing to do, but in the moment I didn't want to cause her any more pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 223

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend because she wanted to be with a man who has an income and a stable career. We are seniors in college and I accepted a really good job offer which I start once I graduate, which she knows about. She dumped me for a drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 040

You deserved it 2 175

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 145

You deserved it 3 869

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 391

You deserved it 3 119

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 226

You deserved it 333

Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 1 237