Miscellaneous: Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant...

By Eric - 27/02/2012 21:58 - United States

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 318

You deserved it 24 609

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Same thing different taste

By a non e mouse - 10/11/2015 22:34 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 950

You deserved it 8 176

By Tired Hungry Geek - 27/10/2015 04:40 - United States

Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 681

You deserved it 10 328

Mix up

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 08:01

Today, I ordered DoorDash to my home. I sat outside waiting for it, starving, when my husband came out, laughing at me. The DoorDasher had called, I'd accidently sent it to my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 798

Fun vacation times

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I needed to relax, so I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished, I went to put the tray outside, not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room, wearing smiley face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 465

You deserved it 27 369

By phonebaby - 18/11/2014 01:04 - United States - Stamford

Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a Chinese restaurant, only to get nervous, and hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 591

You deserved it 7 658

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 832

You deserved it 14 406

By Addigirl - 25/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I ordered pick-up from a restaurant I really like. It was pouring, so instead of taking the long way across the pedestrian walk, I ran through a grass-covered area and tripped on tree roots. I was right in front of the restaurant, so everybody saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 563

You deserved it 1 449

By ScaredDude - 19/05/2019 04:07

Today, I was home alone in the dark and I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't know who it was so I didn't answer. They kept ringing, so I got a bit scared and called the police. When the police showed up, they told me it was a Chinese delivery guy with the wrong address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 2 006

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 866

By EyesofStone - 01/06/2016 01:03 - United States

Today, I decided to work on my social anxiety by ordering some food. I waited in line, practicing my order in my head all the way. When I got to the front, I said my order with no mistakes. The cashier just stared blankly at me until I mumbled, "Never mind..." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 184

You deserved it 1 607

ElainaCutsYou 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:05

Sum Ting Wong?

gonad_gobbler 1

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:09

wow, everyone in the restaurant must adoor you now.

Comments

silvercamaro 22

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:11

I wouldn't worry about it, the people there are working at a Chinese restaurant and everybody else will forget soon enough anyway

xMiss_Maggot 7

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:55

i doubt it...

linzzzbambi 9

Tuesday 17 December 2013 18:38

What's wrong with working in a Chinese restuarant?

Phobic_fml 14

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:13

i did this at the campus dining hall. i don't think anyone noticed though.

MissMae93 23

Tuesday 28 February 2012 6:04

...And? Or was that the end of your witty comment?

Justin23L 2

Tuesday 28 February 2012 12:59

I think it was the end of her comment, considering that the comment ended.

mwolverine 1

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:17

It was the smell of that Chinese food. It's so good that it messes with your brain.

GoW_Chick 14

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:19

Thats embarrassing, sounds like you need a pick me up!

calebhampton 1

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:51

DON'T GET THAT NASTY 5HOUR SHIT XP

Jessica00 24

Tuesday 28 February 2012 9:38

33- Want some money to buy a shirt? You don't even have to pay me back. (:

gonad_gobbler 1

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:23

man this sucks, I'm new to fml and when my puns get thumbed down I don't whether they're just bad or if people just think I'm spelling words wrong and thumb me down lol