Miscellaneous: Today, I overheard my best friend's wife telling their kids to...

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I overheard my best friend's wife telling their kids to pay attention in school and stay focused on their goals so they don't end up a failure in life like their father's friend, Matt. Hi, my name is Matt and I'm the friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 254

You deserved it 5 268

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By paperbox - 16/01/2011 05:07 - Australia

Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 165

You deserved it 3 304

By Anonymous - 02/11/2011 14:43 - United States

Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 483

You deserved it 3 277

By daddy'sgirl - 21/06/2012 04:11 - United States - Memphis

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 184

You deserved it 75 463

Good question

By only child says fuck you mom - 10/04/2016 14:56 - United States - Holly Springs

Today, I overheard my mom talking to a friend on the phone. What caught my attention was when she said, "You ever look at your kid and just think... 'Fuck. Where'd I go wrong?'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 800

You deserved it 2 459

By marisacb - 13/03/2013 18:52 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 299

You deserved it 7 731

Casual patriarchy

By Anonymous - 31/12/2022 18:00

Today, my husband more or less said to our daughter, "I just met an old friend, he has a son you should marry because my old friend is really rich.” It’s been an hour and he’s cowering in his chair because our daughter is still yelling at him, and it serves him right, but now I have a headache from the noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 252

By Amanda - 13/12/2010 16:29 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 580

You deserved it 3 911

My dad, the gold digger

By Anonymous - 29/12/2022 03:00

Today, I was telling my dad how I turned down some guy, but when I mentioned the guy's name my dad was like, “Oh, you mean the son of my old friend, studying computer engineering, genius, real future ahead of him, and you think you can do better than him? What’s wrong with you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 524

By ohhhjaymo13 - 05/02/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 695

You deserved it 3 376

By kindgartin - 23/04/2011 09:26 - Canada

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 626

You deserved it 8 345

xshyguyx 0

Friday 6 November 2009 21:15

Well, at least you succeeded in one thing in your life- being the bad example

mannix_fml 0

Friday 6 November 2009 21:41

Punch her. And if it comes to it, punch the kids.

Comments

CallMeHush 0

Friday 6 November 2009 22:01

WOW, Brutal. Now take an honest look and if she isn't a raging bitch that needs a kick in the slot, do something about it.

The_Great_Zucchi 15

Friday 6 November 2009 22:11

Good thinking, posting as anonymous, Matt :-)

perdix 29

Friday 6 November 2009 22:22

Anal Lana, the pumpkin-carving girl, also submitted as Anonymous. Good catch!

alexandraa_fml 0

Friday 6 November 2009 22:30

Here you are according to Urbandictionary, ahem.. 1.Anything in the english language that can possibly be an insult to anyone who has ever existed in the history of the universe. If you were to call someone a matt that would be like all the worst words in the world put into one. 2.A fatshit who all he does is sit down at his home and paint, cry, and or eat. Brandon: "Hey asshole **** your mom" Mitch: "**** you MATT!" Brandon: *(cries)* 1.A guy with no arms or legs laying in front of your door. Look at my matt. "That guy has no limbs!" "Oh yeah,.. thats matt."