Miscellaneous: Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I...

By blegh - 16/01/2009 04:57 - Switzerland

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 847

You deserved it 6 267

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 600

By soembarrassed - 02/08/2009 13:40 - Australia

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 523

You deserved it 12 489

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 3 710

Tasty

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 14:31 - Denmark

Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 749

You deserved it 9 824

For science

By Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 713

The mouthfeel

By rookiemistake - 27/04/2015 03:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 941

You deserved it 10 129

By itsplashedeverywhere - 27/10/2015 18:59 - United States - Boulder

Today, I was unfortunate enough to discover what happens when you vomit mid-drink at a water fountain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 788

You deserved it 2 217

By Michelle - 09/01/2010 16:11 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 682

You deserved it 3 444

Ewwwwww

By Ese - 12/10/2018 12:00

Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 616

You deserved it 959

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 5 406

wordgirl 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:54

This is the second time in as many days that I've heard a story of someone drinking someone else's spit cup!! At least yours was tobacco...the other person's was green lung chunks and throat slime from having the flu. Would you people PLEASE start LOOKING before you drink???? I'm really going to throw up the next time I have to imagine something like this.

inSayne 7

Monday 18 April 2011 21:32

that chewing tobacco is a f***ing disgusting habit?

Comments

laxgirl29 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 22:01

haha! i almost did that last night! i was so tired and thirsty i grabbed my boyfriends cup and he snagged it just in time! i feel for ya! hahaa great fml!

shellybean87 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 1:19

GRODY!!! 

Hockeylover87_71 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 7:33

gaah, I just about "vomited" myself just now, dude, there is no word that can possibly describe how gross that is!!!!

dragonxalli 5

Sunday 4 October 2009 22:13

-hurls- ugh.... Thats absolutely disgusting... theres nothing that can describe how gross tobacco spit is.....

katewasherexx 0

Monday 5 October 2009 3:05

Uhmmm. EW.! That's exponentially disgusting.

pawpaw_fml 0

Monday 5 October 2009 22:05

Been there done that.....and vomit is not the correct definition for it. It is the most painful throw up you will ever experience and you WILL dry heave for at least a good 30 minutes after it happened..

angel55033 12

Monday 8 November 2010 14:10

ewwwww chew is so nasty to begin with when someone left a spit cup behind when I worked at Perkins I was resetting the table just the smell was enuf to gag on but I dropped it on the floor it was one of the most disgusting things ever along with vomit or fecies