Health: Today, I reached in between the couch cushions to see if my iPod...

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By n0taplumber - 16/11/2010 03:25 - United States

Today, I reached in between the couch cushions to see if my iPod had slipped in there. I didn't find my iPod, but I did find an old utility knife blade. With my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 826

You deserved it 4 825

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Same thing different taste

By Adam - 18/11/2009 21:57 - United States

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 371

You deserved it 70 249

Hangry DVD

By Krazydude1000 - 03/01/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that my old DVD player had stopped reading my DVDs. I had the dumb idea to stick my finger in there to see what the problem was. I found the problem, which was that my fingernail wasn't on my finger after doing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 2 170

By yay! - 08/11/2010 06:07 - United States

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 790

You deserved it 32 287

By momac86 - 19/01/2015 06:34 - United States

Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 187

You deserved it 4 220

Let it bleed

By breza - 01/07/2022 14:00 - Slovenia

Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 189

Locked and loaded

By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 199

You deserved it 43 459

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 09:57 - United States

Today, I started some laundry late at night. Once my clothes were in the washer for about a half hour, I got bored and I decided I would listen to my iPod. After looking for it for another 15 minutes, I remembered where I'd left it; in my jacket... which is now nice and clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 581

You deserved it 27 360

By payne - 04/01/2010 21:07 - United States

Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 724

You deserved it 6 223

By flipflap - 14/06/2015 06:35

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 330

You deserved it 7 125

By Grrr - 20/07/2012 07:58 - United States - Salem

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 389

You deserved it 2 080

Porschephile 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:08

What else would you use to find things between couch cushions? Toes?

DefineAlrep 9

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:06

so did you ever find your iPod?

Comments

xStiina 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:15

nasty...

ploints 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:22

Oh god. *grimace*

brootalxkeni 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:23

those damn ipods

IcyJack 7

Tuesday 16 November 2010 10:23

Zunes: "They're taking our saaaongs!"

ICabooseI 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:23

I see what you did there!vewy cwevah.

beanstar11 5

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:24

:( ouch

ICabooseI 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:25

someone is terrible at Five Finger Fillet!

Quyzl 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:28

I think I just died a little at how much I appreciated that pun.

chelle_starlight 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:32

you left out the most important part, op...you know, the part where you say that your iPod was in your backpack or purse the whole time...

MrsLender_fml 3

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:35

halo? (:

MrsLender_fml 3

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:38

I was trying to respond to #5 and it posted it here for some reason .

blaze_1492 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:38

Let this be a life lesson...knives stay in pockets Couch cushions are for hiding "magazines" and articles of clothing that belong to other women

IcyJack 7

Tuesday 16 November 2010 10:21

Couches are also good for bananas. People give me funny looks when I put bananas in my pockets.

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Same thing different taste

Hangry DVD

Let it bleed

Locked and loaded

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