Kids: Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month...

By mr - 27/07/2010 18:44 - United States

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 765

You deserved it 10 425

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Same thing different taste

Boys will be annoying boys

By shouldve used a condom - 29/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 284

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 181

By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 276

You deserved it 4 014

By Getthelysol - 10/10/2018 05:00

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 1 532

By Cuzles - 23/03/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 591

You deserved it 36 221

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 406

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 755

You deserved it 337

By peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 330

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 01:55 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 561

You deserved it 9 320

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 299

You deserved it 561

arabianhorse1234 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 1:56

Close/lock the door maybe?

bittersweets 2

Wednesday 28 July 2010 2:00

word. put it in a safe place and go shit alone. if you let your baby get what it wants every time you're going to have some hard years in front of you...

Comments

konstantinos616 17

Tuesday 15 November 2011 4:39

yep that's pretty much the very definition

sorrowevicteon 9

Monday 26 December 2011 0:41

Shut the damn door, duh. You're just teaching the kid it's okay. You're f***ing your own life dumbass.

yessirre 4

Thursday 21 June 2012 15:20

Its called a dorr you dumb ass ****** retarted **** WOW

cnpcheer412947 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 9:58

Well then tell them since I wipe ur butt we need to get even!!!

boycrazy30007 12

Wednesday 4 July 2012 8:49

It's only because he's spoiled. So he'll only grow out of it if you dont give in. Don't lock him out or he'll freak but don't pick him up anymore either

boycrazy30007 12

Wednesday 4 July 2012 8:52

I love all the "show him whose boss" comments. It's a baby. It's not doing this to be vindictive or bratty. It's doing something All babies do.

milady666 2

Saturday 14 July 2012 0:45

Put your kid in a play pen. They can't be coddled every second or they never grow out of it. I've got 2 munchkins and they don't scream every time I leave the room. It's hard to do but worth it!