Everyone has their own family idiocy with which they have to deal. I am of hillbilly lineage and my family could only aspire to such mild ignorance as what op described. But hillbillies and rednecks are mostly good people, it is just that the bad ones get all of the press.

Let me tell you a story bout a uncle named Jed Stole 4 mountaineers with very little tread Then 1 day in the act of being lewd Through the side of his house came a 10 ton Komatsu (digs swimin pools, crushes cars)

This sounds like the beginning to a really bad country song.

Is your sister also your girlfriend? If so, then you are a redneck.

Every phrase of that sentence could be a "You might be a redneck" joke.

FYI the term redneck derived from the red bandanas worn around the necks of union coal miners during the mine wars in southern WV. Jeff Foxworthy stole the term and redefined it as a "glorious absence of sophistication."

Either I'm a bad reader, or this was really hard for me to read without any commas, especially the part with the excavator.

Omg it sounds like an episode of hillbillies gone wild.

LOL 1# i have an image in my head of a toothless old man playing it.

Gave me a good laugh aswell. Thanks #1