Intimacy: Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me....

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By LaurahLunatic - 05/09/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 173

You deserved it 6 059

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Same thing different taste

By Darling_Cherry - 02/01/2010 21:22 - United States

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 166

You deserved it 6 936

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 415

By crazycatlady - 19/11/2012 16:15 - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 376

You deserved it 18 430

By Fat Arsed Lass - 01/06/2014 10:28 - New Zealand - East Tamaki

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 471

You deserved it 9 501

Sorry little buddy

By Sorry kitty - 23/11/2022 16:00

Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 217

By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 961

You deserved it 6 325

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 576

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 689

You deserved it 3 456

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 5 850

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 100

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 5 September 2009 16:30

i assume your cat is allowed to roam outside. It is in yours and the cat's best interest to get the feline spayed. unless you want a suprise kitten litter.

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 5 September 2009 16:32

in your defense, when certain animals are in heat, they literally turn irresistable to males. human females dont have that.

Comments

unilpentium 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 17:55

Hi everyone. I have committed myself to waging war agains FML's massive overusage and misusage of the words "realized," "noticed," "discovered," and "learned." Here are some synonyms you can use instead: Detected, discerned, distinguished, picked up on, recognized, saw, spotted, observed, became concious of, comprehended, grasped, knew, took in, understood, attained, ascertained, came across, contrived, determined, disclosed, identified, perceived, revealed, and unearthed. Please, bring linguistic diversity to FML.