Animals: Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me....

By Fat Arsed Lass - 01/06/2014 10:28 - New Zealand - East Tamaki

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 465

You deserved it 9 499

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Same thing different taste

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 575

By orely44 - 08/03/2013 14:13 - France - Rez

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction, and got off as fast as he got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 9 610

By crazycatlady - 24/08/2016 09:43 - United States - Ashland

Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 189

You deserved it 1 577

Lazy day

By Fail - 17/03/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I got an exercise wheel for my cat. He took a nap on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 309

This is mine now

By tessamarque - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Bartlesville

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 958

You deserved it 4 609

Time to go to the vet

By Pooped - 08/09/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 250

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 180

Almost done

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 05:00

Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 413

By xXWhiteSheepXx - 08/04/2016 02:28 - United States - Omaha

Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 756

You deserved it 2 416

By creedonfied - 06/11/2012 20:27 - United States - Billerica

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 324

You deserved it 2 994

singer0421 32

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:39

Don't feel bad OP! Cats will sleep on anything. Plus, they can fit in or on anything, ya feel? If it fits it sits.

zoeeileen 6

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:39

at least your cat lies on you haha :)

Comments

zoeeileen 6

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:39

at least your cat lies on you haha :)

NeatNit 32

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:55

don't lie OP, you liked it.

gramirez23 9

Sunday 1 June 2014 22:04

Ass don't lie either (; lol

hellnosucka 27

Sunday 1 June 2014 23:28

at least someone appreciates your ass.

cdawg69 10

Tuesday 3 June 2014 5:49

dat ass..

singer0421 32

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:39

Don't feel bad OP! Cats will sleep on anything. Plus, they can fit in or on anything, ya feel? If it fits it sits.

gracehi 31

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:39

Cats: They just think they can walk all over you!

alshygirl 14

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:39

You'd be surprised how small of a space they could utilize for all that. I wouldn't think too much into it

Kstruggles 15

Sunday 1 June 2014 21:18

This is exactly what I was thinking.

hellnosucka 27

Sunday 1 June 2014 23:37

everyone knows that nothing surpasses a multipurpose ass.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Tuesday 3 June 2014 22:13

Also depends on how big your cat is, honestly. I have a 5yo male that is 13lbs (he's muscular), a 7yo female that is 6-7lbs at the most, and a female that isn't even a year old yet that is about 5-6lbs and will probably be much bigger when she's fully grown. But no matter the size of the cat they can all do extremely agile/amazing things. So don't worry too much, OP. ;)

savannaharstill 8

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:41

Cats: they make the most out of a small space

gauravkunwar 12

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:42

you must've been looking all that in an awkward position

slooby_fml 25

Monday 2 June 2014 21:21

Or she felt it

HeadlessSparrow 20

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:42

That cat... Likes big butts and cannot lie

The_Big_Boss 20

Sunday 1 June 2014 21:10

The cat knows what to do with that big fat butt

zarrie_carrie281 21

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:43

taking "if it fits, I sits" to a whole new level

Kristoffer 35

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:43

Yeah, it doesn't take much. Almost any adult cat should be able to do it on all but the smallest adult butt. Now if it's an especially large cat and she's keeping to one cheek, then you might have cause to worry, but even then, feline maneuverability is not really a reliable measure of fitness.