Love, Intimacy and Animals: Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed...

By Darling_Cherry - 02/01/2010 21:22 - United States

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 162

You deserved it 6 936

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Same thing different taste

By catlady - 01/03/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 637

You deserved it 9 069

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 412

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 526

You deserved it 5 805

By LaurahLunatic - 05/09/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 168

You deserved it 6 053

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 625

You deserved it 1 064

By crazycatlady - 19/11/2012 16:15 - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 369

You deserved it 18 425

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 6 496

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 4 494

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 00:09 - United States - Green Bay

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 520

You deserved it 5 236

By Drafrica - 13/10/2014 10:20 - South Africa

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 744

You deserved it 5 800

devendra_fml 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:00

your name is quite appropriate, in that case.

PhillyFox 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:09

This kind of depends on how old you are. If you're like 50 and you still haven't gotten laid even though you want to, then yeah, FYL. If you're 17, then the world isn't going to end if you don't have sex tomorrow.

Comments

karmaisabitch6 3

Wednesday 2 October 2013 21:09

are you ugly or something?

pixierara 28

Tuesday 9 June 2015 5:22

Sammme

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The Top

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 253

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, I found a diaper in the parking lot. It's been raining all morning. This was the wrong day to wear flip-flops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 317

You deserved it 4 017

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 274

You deserved it 8 540

Today, my husband called and said he couldn’t make it home tonight from a party, because his car's battery had died and his friends didn’t have any jumper cables. When I offered to pick him up, he adamantly declined. I offered an Uber. Again, declined, and he got pissed, saying, “Stop worrying so much!” and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 238

You deserved it 211

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 437

You deserved it 2 707

Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 176

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 833

You deserved it 5 629

Same thing different taste

Good boy, best boy

Meow!

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