Intimacy: Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 522

You deserved it 5 804

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Same thing different taste

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 412

By Darling_Cherry - 02/01/2010 21:22 - United States

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 158

You deserved it 6 935

Hey human, I'm right here

By Not now - 12/09/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that my cat doesn't give me the time of day, unless I'm trying to do something that's difficult with a cat present, or at the very least makes it impossible for me to give him attention. Then he's all over me. It's a vicious cycle, with no end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 335

Unloveable

By sal - 27/09/2020 05:02 - Canada

Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 288

My one true friend

By When all else fails, talk to the kitty - 21/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized my cat responds to and interacts with me when I talk to her more than my own parents do when I talk to them. Actually, that statement applies to pretty much everyone I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 96

By izu - 16/09/2011 05:40 - United States

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 210

You deserved it 2 755

By Jack - 10/01/2016 02:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 653

You deserved it 2 510

Sick move, bro

By jlw1998 - 25/04/2016 04:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 493

You deserved it 4 507

By CatLover<3 - 18/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Cibolo

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 521

You deserved it 21 929

By Nicole557 - 03/11/2011 10:56 - United States

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though. With my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 507

You deserved it 10 498

Calen5556 0

Monday 30 January 2012 1:30

I'm not sure if "intimate" is the best word choice to describe your relationship with your cat

klimp 0

Monday 30 January 2012 1:30

That is incredibly disturbing. Do you lick that pussy?

Comments

patzz12 0

Monday 30 January 2012 2:16

8 you prob said that cause your gay

taytay7878 0

Monday 30 January 2012 2:18

That's pretty sad man! Go find some one

bri5083 9

Monday 30 January 2012 2:30

I don't wanna know what you do with your cat at night..

tmd4L 7

Monday 30 January 2012 2:33

No pussy for you.

Clamcreepy 7

Monday 30 January 2012 2:35

When all is lost get into the online dating services so you can make an attempt at some real pussy and not the kitty stuff

cscott3131 0

Monday 30 January 2012 2:42

How intimate we talking here? I hope it was just a bad choice of words. Get outside. Hit up a bar or sporting event and meet people.

vturbz91 0

Monday 30 January 2012 2:46

Sick ****!!!

CptZoe 10

Monday 30 January 2012 2:50

At least it's some form of pussy!

BayleeTheLlama 3

Monday 30 January 2012 2:50

Looks like no type of pussy is working out for you..

Honziie 1

Monday 30 January 2012 2:51

That's why you adopt a dog

doorick 4

Monday 30 January 2012 6:33

what.. so he could **** that too?

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Weekend Parents Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 019

You deserved it 2 917

Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 400

The Top

Today, at work, some little girl went in the bathroom for quite a while. Came out for two minutes and went back in. She then came out with her finger clutched in a paper towel. One of the other coworkers went in to check the bathroom. The little girl wrote "Hi!" with her own poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 612

You deserved it 2 758

Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 788

You deserved it 2 624

Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 417

You deserved it 10 048

Today, while having sex, I tried to kick the blanket over my feet and kneed myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 917

You deserved it 26 308

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 595

You deserved it 8 935

Today, I've got so many pimples in my face, I could actually fill a bucket with my own pus. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 154