Love, Cats and Animals: Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher...

By crazycatlady - 19/11/2012 16:15 - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 369

You deserved it 18 425

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/10/2012 05:33 - United States

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 873

You deserved it 5 497

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 412

Cats > Humans

By LittleRed79 - 03/11/2016 04:49 - Canada

Today, it's difficult being a single woman in my city: The female/male ratio is 3:1, and the last 3 dates I've been on were with a guy who kept asking for nudes, an aggressive raging alcoholic, and what turned out to be a married man. I'm seriously considering adopting several more cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 991

You deserved it 1 053

By CatLover<3 - 18/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Cibolo

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 524

You deserved it 21 931

Sick move, bro

By jlw1998 - 25/04/2016 04:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 494

You deserved it 4 510

By Anonymous - 11/05/2011 05:48 - United States

Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 597

You deserved it 6 741

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 00:09 - United States - Green Bay

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 520

You deserved it 5 236

Manchild

By beeee - 26/07/2010 04:03 - Australia

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 339

You deserved it 12 576

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 15:14 - United States - Dalton

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 423

You deserved it 1 913

By Jack - 10/01/2016 02:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 657

You deserved it 2 512

thelinlinx3 10

Monday 19 November 2012 18:54

Sometimes pussy is better than dick anyway ;P

yodas0da 12

Monday 19 November 2012 18:56

dating a large number of people isn't necessarily something to be proud of. quality over quantity(:

Comments

djvoss 6

Tuesday 20 November 2012 2:33

A crazy cat lady at her finest hour

partytime4321 5

Tuesday 20 November 2012 2:35

I wanna cat

chosha_fml 26

Tuesday 20 November 2012 3:22

NUMBER of cats.

kismentia 10

Tuesday 20 November 2012 3:28

This sounds like a confusing SAT question. OP likes all cats. No men date OP. A: All cats are men. B: All men date cats. C: OP is horny.

RoboticEmily 3

Tuesday 20 November 2012 4:02

Me too...I have two cats

soccerluver315 14

Tuesday 20 November 2012 4:27

Well she could have one or two cats and have dated zero or one guys? She may not necessarily be a cat lady yet.

iamananglophile 18

Tuesday 20 November 2012 4:37

Same here. And I have one cat.

CaysonJon 11

Tuesday 20 November 2012 5:05

What would've made it better is if at the end it was like "and I only own one cat"

wickedninja918 1

Tuesday 20 November 2012 5:07

am I the only one who considers the posibilaty that mabie noor is a nun (idk her profile pic just sais nun to me)

wickedninja918 1

Tuesday 20 November 2012 5:12

yeah but you're a nun

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The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 154

The Top

Today, I found out my husband's new income since leaving his old job. He decided to leave a $130,000 job for a $47,000 job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 460

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 414

You deserved it 11 700

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 261

You deserved it 14 872

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 142

Today, I ran over a pothole that was so small it barely qualified as a hole, more like a dent than a hole, but somehow it was still enough to completely crack the rim of my tire and made me 3 hours late to work. I get paid by the hour, so this will hurt my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 165

Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 845

You deserved it 3 448