Love: Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told...

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 15:14 - United States - Dalton

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 423

You deserved it 1 913

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Same thing different taste

By Jack - 10/01/2016 02:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 657

You deserved it 2 511

Differences

By Alone - 21/05/2014 11:05 - United States - Washington

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 404

You deserved it 12 894

Backhanded

By johnny - 05/06/2023 22:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 892

By CatLover<3 - 18/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Cibolo

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 524

You deserved it 21 931

Circle of love

By HellaBomber91 - 05/12/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I'm her first boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 829

You deserved it 3 276

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 412

NEXT!

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 125

By fmlsrsly - 25/03/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 445

You deserved it 30 279

Cats rule, boys drool

By achoooo - 07/11/2009 05:34 - United States

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 443

You deserved it 3 015

By AngryBirdman - 22/04/2011 05:53

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 279

You deserved it 3 707

snowkittyyy 18

Monday 4 January 2016 23:36

Do...you meow? O.o did you ask why she thought that?

jake_braves 25

Monday 4 January 2016 23:41

So petzoned is the new thing now huh..

Comments

snowkittyyy 18

Monday 4 January 2016 23:36

Do...you meow? O.o did you ask why she thought that?

Lars93 18

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:35

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

crudeandrudeguy 29

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:41

If you have to explain the joke then it's a shitty joke

crudeandrudeguy 29

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:42

If you have to explain the joke then it's a shitty joke

XxDanno316xX 27

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:50

We got it the first time mate. :)

zach205 24

Tuesday 5 January 2016 6:16

I'm sure some people need a 2nd time before they get it

crudeandrudeguy 29

Saturday 9 January 2016 20:16

I only posted it once "mate". FML does that sometimes

_delusions_ 15

Monday 4 January 2016 23:38

Guess its time to start acting like a dog. Juust kidding. That is odd and I dont see why being a human version of a cat is a bad thing but oh well.

Flowtastic 16

Tuesday 5 January 2016 1:04

You've never had a cat shove their butthole in your face for affection I take it....

Dark_Cecilia 20

Monday 4 January 2016 23:38

How does that even happen?

joeyl2008 29

Tuesday 5 January 2016 2:54

Maybe they are Catkin

Imhere4fml 24

Monday 4 January 2016 23:39

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Railroader 16

Monday 4 January 2016 23:40

So she thinks you are pussy?

jake_braves 25

Monday 4 January 2016 23:41

So petzoned is the new thing now huh..

jake_braves 25

Monday 4 January 2016 23:42

Perhaps you are a lazy pussy that feels entitled to everything...nah.

Pingvinai 37

Wednesday 6 January 2016 5:31

Should've left at your peak, man.

cacheson 41

Monday 4 January 2016 23:42

Just explain you can be superheroes together. Cat woman and cat man.

FryingPanHero 11

Monday 4 January 2016 23:43

You truly are the cat's meow!

ezrocks4u 29

Monday 4 January 2016 23:43

...did she ever scratch you behind the ear? Do you enjoy long naps and tuna? :3

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 2 552

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 535

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, I told my mom about the $50 I'd hidden in case of an emergency, and how I couldn't find it. She said she'd borrowed it last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 178

Today, at work, I was reprimanded for not engaging with customers enough. In an effort to be more friendly, I complimented the next customer on her interesting accent. Turns out it was from a stroke she had last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 232

You deserved it 6 212

Today, I overheard my wife tell her sister how much she hates how hairy I’ve become since becoming middle-aged, and can barely bring herself to touch me when I’m naked. First I’m hearing of it, and I’d have waxed if she asked me to, but instead she bitches to her sister and humiliates me. I’m so done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 854

You deserved it 245

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 259

You deserved it 4 251

Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 544

You deserved it 4 841

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 334

You deserved it 1 553

Same thing different taste

Differences

Backhanded

Circle of love

Good boy, best boy

NEXT!

Cats rule, boys drool

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