Valentine's slay, Caring and Animals: Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead... - FML

By lex31 - 14/02/2012 13:24 - United States

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 082

You deserved it 3 762

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 09:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 200

By Giggity - 21/02/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 370

You deserved it 6 519

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 264

You deserved it 2 745

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 896

You deserved it 4 041

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 06:17 - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 288

You deserved it 3 687

By maggotsinmycarpet - 12/07/2010 20:56 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 504

You deserved it 5 121

By Lifes_a_bust - 08/08/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 964

You deserved it 4 448

Thanks Raymond

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 05:13 - United States - Boise

Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 857

You deserved it 1 702

The Lovecats

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 05:00 - United States

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 132

Is gift

By catlady - 25/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 737

You deserved it 2 457

Next

Top comments

sosadrightnow 4

Sunday 14 February 2010 20:00

Aw, your cat's so thoughtful!

BluPenguin 3

Sunday 14 February 2010 20:02

how nice of your cat!

Comments

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Monday 15 February 2010 16:29

Better than a dead puppy because dead puppies aren't much fun.

91_92_93Gal 0

Monday 15 February 2010 19:05

AW its a act of Love :)

meluvsu 0

Monday 15 February 2010 20:53

When cat's give their owners dead animals, it means they love them. Hey be happy your cat loves you enough to share his killings with you.

primogen18 0

Monday 15 February 2010 22:19

My neighbors cat used to leave dead leaves all over our porch all the time, at least you got meat...

ashleynonymous 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 3:00

At least you have a pussy that loves you on V-day. Many people can't say that.

dcsididntdoit 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 4:11

Lol. At least you got something from your kitty. =]

killthestar 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 4:41

cats do that to show they love you ^_^ he probably worked all night, to catch it just for you(:

Six23 1

Tuesday 16 February 2010 17:45

Hey, you got rid of the mouse...that's a good (but gross) thing.

BEF_fml 0

Saturday 26 June 2010 23:36

Ha! What an awesome cat! My cat shows love buy attacking any part of me that moves, lol

Kokihi 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 15:03

that is actually very sweet. when cats give you their kills it means they want to make sure you are well fed. if they bring it to you alive they are trying to teach you to hunt. your kitty loves you! thats not an fml! ...though i can see not getting anything else as an fml. sorry bout that. atleast you have a loyal cat!

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 005

You deserved it 3 398

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 551

You deserved it 7 856

The Top

Today, I went on a blind date with a girl. I was trying to be funny and joked, "I've never been on a blind date because I was afraid my date would be blind." She started crying because she's visually impaired and had just built up the courage to start dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 410

You deserved it 4 712

Today, I realised my step-kids never really thought of me as their dad, given that since their mother died 7 months ago, they haven’t visited me once, don’t respond to texts, or answer when I phone them. I’ve been totally abandoned by them, even though I’ve been their stepdad over 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 94

Today, the girl I really liked started talking to me, so I asked her out on a date. After waiting an hour at the theatre, I texted her asking where she was. She replied with, "Oh! You were serious about the date?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 783

You deserved it 3 524

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 196

You deserved it 47 793

Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 978

You deserved it 64 341

Today, it's been so long since my husband has been able to give me an orgasm that when he finally did today, I started sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 370