Geek: Today, I received my new cell phone and activated my account....

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I received my new cell phone and activated my account. As part of the package, I get to choose five numbers that I can call without using any minutes. I could still only think of three numbers I call regularly: my parent's house, my mom's cell and my ex's cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 068

You deserved it 13 506

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/02/2010 07:22 - United States

Today, I switched cell phone carriers and got the plan where you can call or text any five people for free. The employee asked for my five, I could only come up with one, my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 049

You deserved it 5 090

By lonely - 05/02/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 614

You deserved it 3 266

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 22:00

Today, I needed to call my mom to get some info so I dialled the number on my work phone. Not 2 seconds after, my cellphone rang. I got super pissed off because I hate when people call me on my cell at work. It was me. I'd dialled my own number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 2 366

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

By hippie88 - 05/10/2019 04:00 - United States - New York

Today, I figured out why I've used triple the amount of cellphone minutes than I usually do over the past month since moving out. Is it because I suddenly have a social life now that I'm living on my own? No. All those calls were made to my mom because I'm lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 358

By light_talker - 14/01/2010 19:04 - United States

Today, I got my cell phone bill. I pay for 700 minutes per month. I used 9 last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 476

You deserved it 17 992

Memory man

By Dad Fail - 07/02/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 123

Emergency hotline

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 16:00

Today, I spent one night with my phone turned off so I could finally relax. When I turned it back on I had 17 missed calls from siblings wanting to moan about their spouses, 5 calls from mom, 6 from dad, 2 from work, and 2 from my ex. I think I’ve earned some time alone, don’t you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 131

A nickname that sticks

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 872

You deserved it 10 532

By nhanley1 - 02/04/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, my cell phone broke. It wouldn't even turn on. I went online to access my account so that I could order a new phone. I couldn't remember my password. The phone company had an option of "forgot my password". Upon clicking I get a message saying "Your password will be sent to your phone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 704

You deserved it 6 240

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 20:15 - United States - Staten Island

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 188

You deserved it 3 431

Arian_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 23:23

The fact that you placed your ex's cell is pathetic.

so_me_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 23:25

Wow, I'm amazed that that's possible. I can't believe you don't at least call your Dad's cell and your BFF.

Comments

ohhhhshizzz 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 2:28

#46: WHAT THE ****? awuh that's sad.

jj732 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 2:28

46 you were clearly not loved enough as a child.

gsfgf 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 2:36

lol @48

candy_hearts 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 2:39

I STILL only have 2 people on my "Fave Fives" and it's been a year. I wish I had three.

ClaudiaDeetz31 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 2:55

So? That's hardly FML worthy.

FlyMeToTheMoon 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 2:57

I feel your pain haha.

Amkii 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 2:57

Your ex's cell? You still call him? My god... get over him already. I bet he's sick of you still calling him.

colortherainbowx 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 3:02

YDI for even calling your ex. Thats just plain stupid.

truslide 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 3:33

who cares. people always ask for numbers and don't call.

fcked 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 3:43

# 3. i agree. But hey, who said you cant be frens with ur ex?

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The Top

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 856

You deserved it 4 565

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 123

You deserved it 44 804

The Top

Today, I double checked with the barista to make sure my latte had soy milk. After a few sips, I could tell it wasn’t but it was too late. I’m so sensitive to dairy, I spent the rest of my work day trying to stifle the gut busting cramps and noxious fumes. I had a meeting I couldn’t reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 163

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 704

You deserved it 2 629

Today, I got food poisoning in the middle of the wilderness while hiking in a state park with my husband. I had to tend to nature several times before we reached our car. The only supplies I had was a bottle of water and a laminated trail map. It was part of an anniversary trip. How romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 1 056

Today, my mother scolded me for undressing my son and giving him Tylenol to break his fever. She insisted I wrap him in several layers to increase his body temperature in order to let him "sweat the fever out." I’m married to a pediatrician. My mom didn’t finish high school. She swears we're wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 195

You deserved it 163

Today, I've lost so much weight from depression that I don't fit into women's clothing anymore. There's nothing like trying to find dress pants in the kids section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 130

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 546

You deserved it 18 496