Animals: Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing...

By Idk - 29/05/2014 06:46 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 734

You deserved it 5 109

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Cat people

By I’ll never see them again - 13/10/2022 08:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 209

Goddamn cat!

By Anonymous - 22/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Monsey

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 185

I'm gonna be late

By mav3rick91 - 01/03/2010 08:30 - United States

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 126

You deserved it 3 308

Caturday surprise

By My cat is special - 12/08/2023 13:00 - United States

Today, as I returned from work, a cat was meowing at me in a bush. I said hi to it and walked inside. Then I noticed one of my cats was nowhere to be found. After a bit of panicking, I finally figured out that cat in the bush was MY cat, and he was meowing because he was stuck. I don't know how he got outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 199

By Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - 27/11/2013 07:08 - United States

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 844

You deserved it 3 091

How could you, Human?

By I'm a dumbass - 27/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 422

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 14:41 - Australia - Edgecliff

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 094

You deserved it 2 895

Chilling

By craZycatLady - 20/04/2015 18:06 - United States - Mission

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 427

You deserved it 3 633

By Anonymous - 14/05/2014 20:43 - United States - Irmo

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 327

You deserved it 17 382

Freaked out

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Hightstown

Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 109

You deserved it 12 861

Miss_Whipped 43

Thursday 29 May 2014 15:52

Oh, that is terrifying.

ChristianH39 30

Thursday 29 May 2014 15:53

Have fun trying to fall asleep!

Comments

ranzan 7

Friday 30 May 2014 9:12

Omg, i will just look in the closet and go wa cha a bunch of times randomly in the closet, if you know what i mean

notorious_me 13

Friday 30 May 2014 9:38

Pour some salt around your bed and you should be fine ... :)

slowlybreakingme 14

Friday 30 May 2014 11:31

Time to grab the salt!

mkayden 23

Friday 30 May 2014 13:56

That's scary and creepy af!

hideyoself 4

Friday 30 May 2014 14:42

The thing I'm more curious about is your cat's phone? How does your cat operate it without thumbs?

syed121417 22

Saturday 31 May 2014 3:11

Took me a second to get it. Nice one haha

1hello_kitty1 5

Friday 30 May 2014 15:30

well..time to move

shredzone 5

Friday 30 May 2014 15:51

What you saw there was one of your cat's other eight lives.

adammc123 4

Friday 30 May 2014 20:59

gtfo man, gtfo.

yourbestguess 13

Friday 30 May 2014 22:12

Nope...nope nope nope.

metalhead88 9

Friday 30 May 2014 23:47

Just Casper the friendly ghost that's all

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I saw the woman I asked out last month in a relationship with another guy. She rejected me because she “wanted to focus on herself.” I texted her and asked why she had lied to me. She responded with, “Okay, you caught me. But can you blame me? I’m not attracted to butt ugly Martian-looking men.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 643

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 082

The Top

Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 668

You deserved it 37 314

Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 074

You deserved it 1 221

Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 775

You deserved it 1 770

Today, my mother won't let me intern at a prestigious college, working with graduate students and professors, and being paid, because she doesn't want to drive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 260

You deserved it 5 046

Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 150

Today, I turned on the air conditioner in my room, even though it's absolutely freezing in there. Why? To drown about my mom and brother talking. My mom swears that they aren't arguing, but they're so damn loud that it doesn't even matter. They know I'm autistic and that I have hyperacusis. However, they don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 245