Embarrassing, Dogs and Animals: Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob....

By budbunny13 - 30/06/2011 23:08 - United States

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 683

You deserved it 64 006

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/12/2018 06:00 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 417

You deserved it 394

By what-the-what - 29/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 782

You deserved it 300

By anonymous - 17/07/2013 04:48 - United States - Katy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 656

You deserved it 7 400

By ouchh - 11/09/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 941

You deserved it 7 327

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 595

You deserved it 22 043

By crap - 24/02/2014 04:01 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 954

You deserved it 3 237

By Tickdick - 24/03/2017 21:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 320

You deserved it 559

Poor little guy

By anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 134

By laundryduty - 15/06/2019 20:14

Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic and was about to throw in a load of towels when I noticed something in the washer. It looked like one of the detergent packets we use. It was a testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 179

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 586

You deserved it 4 595

paigemosier 1

Friday 1 July 2011 8:36

the ****

chimp4494 0

Friday 1 July 2011 8:36

first time having a dog?

Comments

farmershayna 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:47

haha my dog yea one time and my lol Sid though his intestines were falling out hahaha

munkeyboom123 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 9:48

i have no idea what you just said.

Tanuis 3

Saturday 2 July 2011 2:10

how dumb are you.. read a book.

Ashleyadams2013 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 2:15

wooww my 4 year old cousin even knws tht!! someone really needs some mental help

ecinoderm4u 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 2:36

You have never experienced the "red lipstick?"

Bubbles1354 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 2:51

thts wht she said :))

munkeyboom123 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 9:50

why are you showing the world your boobs?

Beast_Hoff 0

Monday 4 July 2011 6:41

moneymakers bro, get with the program ;)

leenyboo21 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 3:41

if u wasnt so ******* dumb u would know what that is!

riss92 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 3:46

no shit it's a ******* boy dog

theznuts 2

Saturday 2 July 2011 3:47

seriously.... I'm not sure I would have posted that .... now everyone knows your a dumbass!!!!

kristalove 4

Saturday 2 July 2011 4:13

You are a idiot!

i_love_cashew15 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 4:30

dumbass

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers

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Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 125

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year-old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 905

You deserved it 2 575

Today, I got the chance to speak to some of the top academics in my field. I was so hungover that I couldn't remember the title of the Masters degree I've spent two years studying for, let alone make intelligent comments. I'm pretty sure the only thing I got right was my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 689

You deserved it 108 258

Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 451

You deserved it 3 538

Today, my friends thought it would be a good idea to make fun of a homeless man. I didn't fancy making fun of the less fortunate, so I stayed a bit back. Still, the homeless man didn't think it would matter to throw a rock at me after my buddies ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 656

You deserved it 14 529

Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 983

You deserved it 3 626

Today, at work, a customer cried because the cake I made her was not "exactly" the same as the display. I'm the one who made the display and it was the same but the display cake had faded a bit, since it had been there for a month. I'd mentioned this to the customer when she placed the order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 553

You deserved it 2 218

Same thing different taste

Poor little guy

Pull!

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