Miscellaneous: Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After...

By Kyle - 10/05/2011 10:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 992

You deserved it 46 996

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Same thing different taste

Doofus

By wobbles - 04/12/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 931

You deserved it 34 351

Like a bat

By Blind - 15/01/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, my glasses have completely disappeared. I know for a fact that I put them on my desk, but now they're absolutely nowhere to be found. This is my first time playing "Find your glasses without the assistance of your glasses" and I'm failing at it badly. My vision isn't even that bad yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 122

Mystery

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 00:00

Today, somewhere between home and work, my glasses vanished off my face. I know I had them on before I set off because I cleaned them in the car and put them on, then halfway to work I suddenly had to squint to see because glasses gone. I’ve been searching for an hour, they are nowhere. HOW? FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 155

Comfy

By chrono64 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 808

You deserved it 3 434

Played a blinder

By hereforfmls - 26/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 600

You deserved it 425

By Liz - 08/07/2019 00:00

Today, I woke up, and I could see perfectly. Somehow, during the night, my eyes magically became 20/20. I was overjoyed, until I realized I'd fallen asleep with my glasses on. My eyes are still trash, and I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 587

By TurtleTeacher - 14/10/2011 06:09 - United States

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 908

You deserved it 4 059

Bat out of hell

By my dad is blind as shit - 03/02/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, my dad asked to borrow my glasses to look for his glasses. He then took them off because they were extremely tight on his head, and gave them back to me. Then he turned around and walked into a wall. I sure hope my eyes don't get that bad, although they probably will by the time I'm 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 148

By kiriakousauce21 - 15/02/2010 07:44 - France

Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 860

You deserved it 32 850

By monster1109 - 10/08/2015 15:51 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 279

You deserved it 9 347

iAmScrubs 19

Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:07

At least you didn't offer an 100 dollar reward price on who finds the glasses first..

RockstarRN 10

Tuesday 10 May 2011 16:07

Oh wow! That sucks but it is pretty funny!

Comments

kei1108 13

Thursday 12 May 2011 4:42

I've done that. only it's more common when my sunglasses are on my head and I just cannot find them... *sigh

Not_so_innocent1 5

Thursday 12 May 2011 4:47

Hey! I've done that! :)

hansen4224 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 7:46

Have to admit your parents have a great sense of humor

karmicsamadi86 9

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:26

Don't feel bad, I've done that too

TifferNC 3

Thursday 12 May 2011 19:52

been there, done that

savbeachbum 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 20:11

sorry but this one made me laugh out loud!!!!

kat815 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 20:52

seriously that's stupid if ur glasses are on ur face then u should know where they r ydi

doubleodoggy 0

Friday 13 May 2011 0:31

dude, that happens all the time to me

006ruler 0

Friday 13 May 2011 3:17

they were right!

slushyslime 7

Friday 13 May 2011 7:24

lol I used to do that!! now chek my face for them first

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The Top

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 424

You deserved it 13 444

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 133

The Top

Today, I started my first 3-day weekend in over a month after asking for one. I also start the neverending diarrhea and vomit spiral because my stomach can’t handle a little spice. So much for a relaxing 3-day weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 171

Today, I turned up to unclog a customer's blocked sewer, and they were furious that I needed to use their water, like they thought I’d turn up with my own water for the whole job in a small transit van. They told me not to bother, unless I provided my own water. I wasted a day on these idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 90

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 312

You deserved it 9 464

Today, I was riding a longboard down a hill and I fell off. I was all scraped up so I made sure to clean my wounds and put bandages on them. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue on the bandages and I have itchy hives all over and around my open wounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 306

You deserved it 5 456

Today, I've reached a level of tired I didn't think was possible. I've had less than 3 hours sleep in the last 72 hours and have not slept more than 20 minutes each stretch because my newborn is so unsettled. The baby has been peacefully sleeping for the last 3 hours and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 072

You deserved it 312

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 270

You deserved it 7 694