Health: Today, I shat a magnet. FML

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 683

You deserved it 35 754

Watch out for the New Year
It's time to say goodbye to the current year, but when the goodbye goes wrong, it's a different story. Be careful, you might want to stay at home. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 17 978

By clublulu - 10/04/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 803

You deserved it 77 172

By Anonymous - 01/09/2017 20:00

Today, I put a magnet on my brand new car. I got rear-ended by someone who was trying to read it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 866

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 7 350

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 15:10 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 330

You deserved it 2 856

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 423

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 669

You deserved it 992

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 963

By brownunderwear - 14/12/2011 03:45 - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 780

You deserved it 7 883

cBlackout 13

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:27

That's when you know you party too hard.

develgool 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:26

Ok when did you have magnet for dinner?

Comments

bahamadaddy94 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 5:39

Vegas lol

ObviousMystery 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 6:02

Lmao at #99 and oh yeah WTF?

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Saturday 1 October 2011 4:28

What o.o

summahpaige 3

Thursday 29 September 2011 6:33

Magnets. How do they work?

dillonManning 9

Thursday 29 September 2011 7:32

Been there done that

watagwa 5

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:57

BAHAHAHAHJAH! you're awesome.

fukyocouch 4

Friday 30 September 2011 4:44

hell yea

afulks78 11

Friday 30 September 2011 5:40

Painful ?

KennyMcCrmick322 0

Friday 30 September 2011 7:46

Op: " oh so that's y my ass kept getting stuck to the fridge!"

sentinel_233 0

Friday 30 September 2011 19:25

Lost it in your butt had to come out someone haha jk

nothingclever 0

Friday 30 September 2011 19:38

So why did you swallow it? Ritard.

kittykat1501 31

Sunday 14 June 2015 6:00

*retard Idiot. Also it is not nice to mentally ill people when you call somebody that

Keywords

Haircut Health Hair Miscellaneous Gifts Money Christmas Lonely Relatable Kids Parents Cars Drunk Awkward Family Ironic Love Social Media Technology Narcissistic parents Holidays Relationship advice Poopoo peepee Annoying Dogs Animals Work My ex Religion AITA

The Top

Today, I made the mistake of uttering the phrase "I’m not like other girls" at work when discussing how I prefer staying in and reading over going out to a bar. Now none of the other girls in the office will talk to me and are calling me a "pick-me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 674

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 986

You deserved it 3 201

The Top

Today, I learned that there's a colony of bats living inside my walls. The devices to prevent them from reentering are angering those remaining inside, and now I can hear them scuttling and screeching in almost every wall and ceiling in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 615

You deserved it 495

Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 713

You deserved it 10 652

Today, and for the past few months, my cat has taken to yelling at me whenever I walk into the room he's in. I have no idea what he's so bent out of shape about, and I couldn't even make a reasonable guess as to why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 234

Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 844

You deserved it 2 398

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend because he is tired of everyone giving him shit about my ginger hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 148

You deserved it 6 814

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 349

You deserved it 41 597

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

Top comments

Comments