Health: Today, I shat a magnet. FML

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 683

You deserved it 35 754

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Same thing different taste

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 622

You deserved it 17 978

By clublulu - 10/04/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 803

You deserved it 77 172

By Anonymous - 01/09/2017 20:00

Today, I put a magnet on my brand new car. I got rear-ended by someone who was trying to read it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 866

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 7 350

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 15:10 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 331

You deserved it 2 856

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 490

You deserved it 7 423

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 670

You deserved it 992

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 975

You deserved it 12 963

By brownunderwear - 14/12/2011 03:45 - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 780

You deserved it 7 883

cBlackout 13

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:27

That's when you know you party too hard.

develgool 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:26

Ok when did you have magnet for dinner?

Comments

pokerface71 14

Friday 23 March 2012 21:55

nuff said

hahyoufail 0

Sunday 17 June 2012 7:23

This is a copy of an fml about "shatting" a staple

sydaknee 6

Saturday 18 August 2012 1:34

Lol um

Gpro67 9

Monday 10 December 2012 4:20

I guess that you could call ur poop...... ..... ..... ..... Magnetic!!!

KhaozD 3

Tuesday 11 December 2012 6:50

you whaat?

terecgtza 7

Friday 28 June 2013 4:47

I really want to know the story behind this.

therealcheese 7

Monday 15 July 2013 8:09

Its one of the side effects of being magneto.

YUMMYFRENCHFRIES 16

Tuesday 16 July 2013 7:03

Heheheheheehe. Shortest FML ever

DMAN80182001 15

Sunday 6 April 2014 12:43

This is the shortest, and funniest, fml I have seen. But how the heck did that happen? Did you eat a magnet?

FaguIous 22

Wednesday 18 March 2015 6:29

If you were a guy, I could say it was a CHICK MAGNET! No? Anyone? Okay :(

Keywords

Health School Mental health Memories Annoying Accident Miscellaneous Awkward Transportation Dating Love Scams Animals Embarrassing Birds Sports Healthy Lifestyle Technology Cats Poopoo peepee Marriage Relatable Therapy Housework Anger issues Porn Wanker Sex Intimacy First Dates

The Top

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 460

You deserved it 3 490

Today, my boyfriend has spent weeks trying to get me to cancel my breast reduction surgery, for selfish reasons obviously, even though he knows how bad my spinal problems are getting. I don’t want a hunched back in my 30’s, but all he cares about is his sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 304

The Top

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 572

You deserved it 6 318

Today, I went out on a date with an ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex-girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 142

You deserved it 7 995

Today, I unthinkingly did something dangerous and now I have a painful kink in my neck. What dangerous thing did I do? I yawned. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 111

Today, my now ex-boyfriend said to me, “Who’s your daddy?” during the deed and it was so off-putting, I said my dad's actual name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 266

Today, I got really anxious thinking I was going to piss off the guy behind me by not moving off at a stop light fast enough. It got so bad that I had a panic attack right there in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 771

You deserved it 7 049

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 931

You deserved it 3 539

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

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