Health: Today, I shat a magnet. FML

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 683

You deserved it 35 754

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Same thing different taste

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 17 978

By clublulu - 10/04/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 803

You deserved it 77 172

By Anonymous - 01/09/2017 20:00

Today, I put a magnet on my brand new car. I got rear-ended by someone who was trying to read it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 866

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 7 350

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 15:10 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 330

You deserved it 2 856

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 423

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 669

You deserved it 992

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 963

By brownunderwear - 14/12/2011 03:45 - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 780

You deserved it 7 883

cBlackout 13

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:27

That's when you know you party too hard.

develgool 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:26

Ok when did you have magnet for dinner?

Comments

kittykat1501 31

Sunday 14 June 2015 5:58

*minion voice* WHAAAAAAAAT?

shotgun_girl 17

Friday 11 December 2015 17:02

That was the most appropriate response to this ever.

lagreeni 16

Wednesday 2 September 2015 19:46

Shortest FML I've ever read

Solano2580 24

Saturday 5 September 2015 2:11

Hey, don't be so negative about it, look on the plus side, at least you know it's out, so that's one thing to be positive about! (Magnet Puns.....FML)

qpdoll 19

Tuesday 2 February 2016 6:14

At least you didn't fail to shit two magnets...

ifuckuprandomly 28

Monday 11 July 2016 20:07

Filet Magnet

neesaun 10

Monday 31 July 2017 16:08

Aaaaahahahahahahahahaaaa... OMG.. haaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Keywords

Health Haircut Hair Miscellaneous Money Christmas Gifts Relatable Lonely Parents Drunk Kids Cars Family Awkward Ironic Love Social Media Technology Holidays Narcissistic parents Relationship advice Dogs Animals Poopoo peepee Annoying My ex Work Religion Shopping

The Top

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 2 167

Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 638

You deserved it 7 130

The Top

Today, I thought I'd found the perfect parking spot at work for once. Turns out, it was actually perfect for the parade that was scheduled for later in the day. My car got towed to make way for marching bands and floats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 379

Today, I got destroyed by a midterm at 8 a.m. that I studied quite hard for. I was already seeing red and holding back tears, then the FIRST thing I was graced to see as soon as I walked out of class was my ex entertaining a girl - the first time I’d ever seen it happen. I sobbed the whole way back on my walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 230

Today, after 6 years of marriage, my wife called me toxic and abusive. All because I asked her if she's going to find a job, as it's getting harder for me to take care of everything, and we need more money at the moment. She's been unemployed for almost two years already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 125

Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 833

You deserved it 14 275

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 755

You deserved it 3 262

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 567

You deserved it 3 862

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

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