Miscellaneous: Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 21:12 - United States - Rockville

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 722

You deserved it 2 794

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 275

You deserved it 6 095

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 971

You deserved it 7 583

Frozen 3

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, as I was putting groceries away, I went to open my freezer door which randomly gets stuck by giving it a good tug, and a frozen hamburger fell on my right foot. My right foot, which is currently healing from a sprain I got a couple days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 204

By freakingow - 14/02/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 992

You deserved it 6 866

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 988

By cheeseless - 11/08/2016 20:47 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I sprained my wrist while trying to grate a block of frozen cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 489

You deserved it 3 906

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 183

Large spread

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 06:00

Today, as I went to put a portion of a rotisserie chicken in the microwave, the rest of the chicken slid off the counter. I instinctively tried to catch it with my foot, which resulted in me punting it into the kitchen ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 264

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 735

You deserved it 351

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 959

Next

Top comments

Mynamewontfi 40

Sunday 22 November 2015 12:05

Well, the cutlet lives up to its name.

derpyshy 16

Sunday 22 November 2015 12:19

Make sure to wash up with lots of antibacterial soap. I work in grocery and have cut myself on bagged ice multiple times. Shit's like bagged glass. Hope you heal up quick.

Comments

MedChew 19

Sunday 22 November 2015 12:56

El pollo Diablo be like Bawk bawl bawk m*f***a

lexred 30

Sunday 22 November 2015 13:41

That's weird.

A07 48

Sunday 22 November 2015 13:50

It's the things we love most that hurt us

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 22 November 2015 13:58

That's ironic...

trulypar 34

Sunday 22 November 2015 14:06

If this was a comic book type story you'd wake up in the morning with super chicken-like abilities...able to squawk at super-sonic levels and scratch and peck enormous holes in the ground. Super Chicken!!!

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 22 November 2015 14:16

Not sure if you're cut out for the task of eating that chicken

sousaphonist 14

Sunday 22 November 2015 14:36

How...how is that possible?

KaidensCrow 18

Sunday 22 November 2015 14:38

lol... instant salmonella

timaeusTestified 15

Sunday 22 November 2015 23:24

Just because the chicken is frozen doesn't automatically mean that OP is getting salmonella.

hellnosucka 27

Sunday 22 November 2015 15:23

that is one vengeful chicken.

Tejanoswhy 19

Sunday 22 November 2015 15:42

I'm too much of a chicken to do that

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Argument Love Geek Computers Health Skincare Awkward Disappointment Retirement Work Family Money Games Friends Mysterious Kids Weird Divorce Ironic Porn Accident Miscellaneous Birthday Annoying Coworkers Gross Smells Video games Gamers Pregnancy

The Top

Today, my husband admitted to getting his side chick (who I didn't know about) pregnant. If that wasn't bad enough, he actually had the nerve to call me a "selfish bitch" for wanting a divorce and refusing to help raise the kid once it's born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 67

Today, my mother refuses to acknowledge that I’m married because instead of a church, we got married outdoors in a lovely pagan ceremony (with a real marriage licence from the city council, obviously) and she keeps trying to introduce me to nice, single men from church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 113

The Top

Today, I was upset with my girlfriend, but I didn't want to start an argument with her, so I didn't reply to her message immediately. She asked me what happened. I hesitated but explained nonetheless. She remained silent for almost an hour before replying she's busy at work, so she can't reply. Then why did she even bother to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 242

Today, I was told I can’t wear a nose ring at my new job because several customers "don’t like it." It’s a very small nose ring and the job is a shack that serves food through a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 379

Today, some of my coworkers have complained that I don't do my share of the work, though they can't specify exactly what I'm not getting done. Apparently, being too efficient and finishing first means I mustn't have done anything at all. The supervisor sided with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 480

You deserved it 1 658

Today, my dad told me it would be fine to use the mounting tape he'd bought to place paintings up in my newly painted room. I did, but after deciding I wanted to move a painting and pulling it off the wall, the wall came with it. Back to square one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 907

You deserved it 5 785

Today, it was one of those rare occasions I wore shorts. The first thing my male cousin said was, "Why so sexy?” Misogyny is why I don’t wear shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 720

Today, our stupid pediatrician gave an anal suppository for our toddler's consistent tummy ache. She is NEVER constipated and passes stools regularly twice a day. Guess who had to hold down a 3-year-old and put in the medicine - which did not help with the tummy ache. I can't live with myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 374