Miscellaneous: Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 21:12 - United States - Rockville

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 719

You deserved it 2 792

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Same thing different taste

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 269

You deserved it 6 092

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 969

You deserved it 7 582

Frozen 3

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, as I was putting groceries away, I went to open my freezer door which randomly gets stuck by giving it a good tug, and a frozen hamburger fell on my right foot. My right foot, which is currently healing from a sprain I got a couple days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 199

By freakingow - 14/02/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 989

You deserved it 6 861

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 986

By cheeseless - 11/08/2016 20:47 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I sprained my wrist while trying to grate a block of frozen cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 486

You deserved it 3 906

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 182

Large spread

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 06:00

Today, as I went to put a portion of a rotisserie chicken in the microwave, the rest of the chicken slid off the counter. I instinctively tried to catch it with my foot, which resulted in me punting it into the kitchen ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 261

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 348

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 941

Next

Top comments

Mynamewontfi 40

Sunday 22 November 2015 12:05

Well, the cutlet lives up to its name.

derpyshy 16

Sunday 22 November 2015 12:19

Make sure to wash up with lots of antibacterial soap. I work in grocery and have cut myself on bagged ice multiple times. Shit's like bagged glass. Hope you heal up quick.

Comments

MedChew 19

Sunday 22 November 2015 12:56

El pollo Diablo be like Bawk bawl bawk m*f***a

lexred 30

Sunday 22 November 2015 13:41

That's weird.

A07 48

Sunday 22 November 2015 13:50

It's the things we love most that hurt us

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 22 November 2015 13:58

That's ironic...

trulypar 34

Sunday 22 November 2015 14:06

If this was a comic book type story you'd wake up in the morning with super chicken-like abilities...able to squawk at super-sonic levels and scratch and peck enormous holes in the ground. Super Chicken!!!

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 22 November 2015 14:16

Not sure if you're cut out for the task of eating that chicken

sousaphonist 14

Sunday 22 November 2015 14:36

How...how is that possible?

KaidensCrow 18

Sunday 22 November 2015 14:38

lol... instant salmonella

timaeusTestified 15

Sunday 22 November 2015 23:24

Just because the chicken is frozen doesn't automatically mean that OP is getting salmonella.

hellnosucka 27

Sunday 22 November 2015 15:23

that is one vengeful chicken.

Tejanoswhy 19

Sunday 22 November 2015 15:42

I'm too much of a chicken to do that

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The Top

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 50 349

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 473

The Top

Today, I threw up during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 190

Today, I went to a costume contest as Jon Snow from Game of Thrones. I won, which was nice, until I was told that the only flaws in my "Samwell Tarly" outfit were my long hair and wrong sword. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 743

You deserved it 2 827

Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 174

You deserved it 4 067

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 909

You deserved it 3 913

Today, the coworker I have a crush on left halfway through the busiest shift of the week, and now I have to work it alone. I eventually found out that she left to go on a date with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 879

You deserved it 381

Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 216

You deserved it 3 002