Health: Not my day, is it? - FML

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Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 734

You deserved it 349

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 182

By clair_brodie - 04/07/2019 20:00

Today, as I was putting some dishes away, I spilled water on the floor. While walking around the dishwasher, I slipped on said water, and after going to urgent care, found out I tore my meniscus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 225

By Prae - 01/10/2012 05:47 - United States - Dallas

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 691

You deserved it 2 120

Fork off

By Godzilla’s wife - 28/12/2024 18:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 116

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 900

You deserved it 629

911 please

By hurts - 04/05/2009 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 676

You deserved it 4 994

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 140

By sashimi9999 - 07/02/2014 01:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 253

You deserved it 5 884

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 805

You deserved it 818

By jmac - 11/03/2012 03:06 - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 419

You deserved it 4 304

Next

Top comments

whiskey'swino 15

Monday 10 December 2018 6:00

I never thought washing dishes as an extreme sport.

Phil 14

Monday 10 December 2018 21:36

It seems that if you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have any luck at all.

Comments

whiskey'swino 15

Monday 10 December 2018 6:00

I never thought washing dishes as an extreme sport.

evilplatypus 38

Monday 10 December 2018 18:29

Sounds like your clothes aren’t very work appropriate if they get shredded that easily.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Monday 10 December 2018 18:54

it seems you have my luck

Phil 14

Monday 10 December 2018 21:36

It seems that if you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have any luck at all.

Wadlaen 23

Tuesday 11 December 2018 0:09

Why were you washing the dishes when you got a dishwasher..?😕

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 15 December 2018 5:12

This is why I use paper plates.

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 69

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of two years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 690

You deserved it 48 904

The Top

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 139

You deserved it 32 066

Today, I spent several hundred dollars having our pipes and septic system fixed. Tonight, I watched my husband pour about a half-liter of bacon grease into the sink. Better keep the septic guy on speed dial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 098

You deserved it 275

Today, I had a Zoom meeting with co-workers. I didn’t get enough sleep last night and it was early in the morning, so I was super tired. I dozed off and my head hit the keyboard’s space bar. Apparently, this feature allows the mic to unmute itself. The entire group heard my snoring. I woke up unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 1 087

Today, I was accidently stabbed in the shin with a pen, right before a long weekend. It will need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 94

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 558

You deserved it 32 204

Today, for lunch I bought a burger, fries and milkshake. As I went to sit down the milkshake spilled all over the table, in my failed attempt to catch it I also managed to spill my fries all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 939

You deserved it 404