Miscellaneous: Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for...

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 05:05 - United States

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 128

You deserved it 3 909

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Same thing different taste

BBQ disaster

By ruined - 15/04/2020 17:00

Today, I made the most perfect prime rib of my life at an amazing medium rare. I was so distracted dyeing eggs with my kids that I didn’t notice my mom cut the meat, then deciding to shove it back into the oven as it was “too pink” for her liking. She incinerated it beyond all recognition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 252

You deserved it 343

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 14:52 - United States - Medway

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 263

You deserved it 7 806

Perfect

By steakgoesmoooo - 16/05/2023 00:00

Today, I put my perfectly-broiled steak portion in the microwave to keep it from the cats while it rested. I accidentally hit "cook" instead of "timer". My perfect rare steak is now almost perfectly half-leather and half-charcoal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 861

Hmmm, steak

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 11:01

Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 986

By perfectman - 12/06/2012 10:34 - Australia - Sydney

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 307

You deserved it 8 390

By Sick'o'bitches - 04/09/2018 03:30

Today, I spent my entire day off making a brisket. It had been cooking for 8 hours when, just before dinner, I went for a quick jog. In that time my girlfriend came home and ruined it by trying to make it the way she wanted. I'm a chef and she's an office worker. We couldn't eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 651

You deserved it 385

Nice try

By Anonymous - 14/09/2023 14:00

Today, I fed my husband a vegan beef burger so I could show him that it tastes exactly the same when he didn’t notice. He noticed on the first bite and spat it across the kitchen because he thought the meat had expired before I cooked it, and tasted disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 1 790

By aroman2312 - 06/09/2011 21:33 - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 257

You deserved it 2 102

Digging my heels in

By jj. - 03/01/2023 21:00

Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 1 569

Pay no mind

By Jlhfan90 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 196

You deserved it 19 429

wizardcorn04 14

Monday 20 July 2015 0:12

Is your dad Gordon Ramsey by any chance?

chaseafterwind82 29

Monday 20 July 2015 0:12

Lol! Ride it back into the kitchen and finish cooking it!

Comments

indigohippopo 20

Monday 20 July 2015 6:33

Sounds Delicious ! _(^-^)_

lincolnstars 7

Monday 20 July 2015 6:36

Knock the horns off, wipe it's ass and serve it.

_delaneybear 20

Monday 20 July 2015 6:40

Good thing they don't love you for your cooking skills. ❤️

MadInTheMorning 10

Monday 20 July 2015 6:43

So would that count as a dad joke? I think it does count.

justin1976 9

Monday 20 July 2015 7:16

Your dad is a pudollardollary and doesn't know how to eat a good steak

Xamry14 10

Monday 20 July 2015 7:20

To rare? No such thing lol

Shmatterhorn 38

Monday 20 July 2015 7:36

Over-dramatic much? Sounds like you did a good job.

Vlen_fml 20

Monday 20 July 2015 7:52

pfft, sounds like you over cooked it. if its 8oz or less, 2-3 minutes on either side of a pre-heated grill, max. if its' closer to 16oz, 3-4 min per side. anything over that and you may want to give it some time because getting to the center is a bit different when it's thick.

nitrog100 21

Monday 20 July 2015 11:22

Next time, try flipping the steaks every 30 seconds. Contrary to popular belief, it actually helps you develop a better crust and cooks more evenly. If you don't believe me, check out Serious Eats.