Intimacy: Today, I spent the first day of the New Year helping out at an...

By Username - 01/01/2011 23:21 - United States

Today, I spent the first day of the New Year helping out at an old folks' home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Ernie, an 83 year-old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 720

You deserved it 3 989

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Same thing different taste

Randy

By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 22:22 - Netherlands - Reusel

Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 905

You deserved it 1 788

Hands-on

By poolgirl789 - 03/09/2013 06:30 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 768

You deserved it 4 753

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 2 553

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 10:15 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 969

You deserved it 3 121

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 05:17 - United States

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 145

You deserved it 3 560

By :/ - 30/01/2016 07:45 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 011

You deserved it 6 526

By Shitty genes, no two ways about it. - 27/04/2013 00:21 - Australia - Perth

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 068

You deserved it 6 273

By yeah okay then - 03/08/2012 23:50 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 980

You deserved it 2 122

By aragmir - 18/12/2016 06:10 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 700

You deserved it 2 874

By therewasnocurtain - 06/04/2015 20:07 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 118

You deserved it 2 542

DocBastard 38

Sunday 2 January 2011 2:07

So he's showing off his wit and sense of humor? Or is he showing off his character, honor, and integrity? What's the problem here? I don't understand.

Doortje 29

Sunday 2 January 2011 2:11

Earnie is my new hero :D

Comments

InsaneGenius 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 3:50

GabIsAwesome~ I promise you nobody thinks you're awesome typing like that; I think some veins in my head just burst from trying to read it. OP~ laugh it off! Poor guy probably doesn't have a lot of time left to show off his johnson. I would've died laughing!

jtbh2012 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 4:04

one word : HIPAA

Synch2120 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 4:10

if I were you I would remove this post because you are actually violating patient privacy laws and can probably be sued for a lot of money if someone were to read this and report you. just sayin.

jmacrules 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 4:36

don't be such an a$$ wipe

perdix 29

Sunday 2 January 2011 4:32

That made me spit up my beef jerky!

macskapingvin 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 11:58

You mean it made you jerk your beef until it spat?

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 2 January 2011 18:21

Earnie?

Proud_vegetarian 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 4:37

Well good for you for volunteering your time :)

zanguard 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 5:17

Is this the old man from a previous FML who is only there for the b!tches?

JawneeG 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 5:33

at least he didn't make you shower him, and pooped in your hand, or something! Ernie is a wild pimp among these elder folk!

LOVEFML25 1

Sunday 2 January 2011 5:40

OK, you guys screaming "HIPAA violation!" must have just learned what it is yesterday, because I don't see a HIPAA violation in this FML. First of all, we don't even know if Earnie is the real name. Second of all, there is no last name in this FML. Thirdly, OP did not tell what home he is in. California's a large state. Finally, OP did not give us an actual medical diagnosis. Chill, and enjoy the site for what it is--entertainment. Save the jargon for work.

jtbh2012 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 18:57

wow, it clearly violates HIPAA. i don't go around talking about my people. if people the person works with sees this, this guys ass will be sued. i've been learning about HIPAA since i was 14.