Intimacy: Today, I spent the first day of the New Year helping out at an...

By Username - 01/01/2011 23:21 - United States

Today, I spent the first day of the New Year helping out at an old folks' home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Ernie, an 83 year-old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 720

You deserved it 3 989

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Same thing different taste

Randy

By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 22:22 - Netherlands - Reusel

Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 905

You deserved it 1 788

Hands-on

By poolgirl789 - 03/09/2013 06:30 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 768

You deserved it 4 753

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 2 553

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 10:15 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 969

You deserved it 3 121

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 05:17 - United States

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 145

You deserved it 3 560

By :/ - 30/01/2016 07:45 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I'm so broke, I walked into a nursing home and pretended to be a gentleman's son just so I could get some free food "for him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 011

You deserved it 6 526

By Shitty genes, no two ways about it. - 27/04/2013 00:21 - Australia - Perth

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 068

You deserved it 6 273

By yeah okay then - 03/08/2012 23:50 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 980

You deserved it 2 122

By aragmir - 18/12/2016 06:10 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 700

You deserved it 2 874

By therewasnocurtain - 06/04/2015 20:07 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 118

You deserved it 2 542

DocBastard 38

Sunday 2 January 2011 2:07

So he's showing off his wit and sense of humor? Or is he showing off his character, honor, and integrity? What's the problem here? I don't understand.

Doortje 29

Sunday 2 January 2011 2:11

Earnie is my new hero :D

Comments

millionaire93 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 6:15

was he bigger den me? (for all you family guy lovers out there)-Peter Griffin. no I'm not obsessed with family guy either, so dont ask.

hunturkey 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 8:07

did you touch it? hahaha

Bubbawhite 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 8:56

hahaha thats rough

mercedes3210 6

Sunday 2 January 2011 10:41

Why do you have to type like this? gives me a headache trying figure out what you are trying to say. thank you doc for translating.

therealsuperman 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 11:10

didn't that guy used to be on sesame street? I see now why he's not allowed around children

eryn13 5

Sunday 2 January 2011 11:44

at least you don't work graveyards at one and had to work that night. watching everyone else have fun and have your trunk friends texting you half the night. like I did...

ugliness 6

Sunday 2 January 2011 11:45

I'm sure you guys realise that it is probably a fake name/age and not even romotely usefull in identifying an individual, correct me if I'm wrong

BlahLand 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 12:20

i dont get it at all o.o

DaveOnDope 4

Sunday 2 January 2011 13:42

When my dad was in the rest home he got ahold of a phone and babbled something about bombs to 911. instant chaos!

softballer22 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 16:34

my great grandma is in a nursing home and was screaming because somebody "ambushed her house, tore the drapes down, painted the windows, and put her cat in the hospital!" and she called me at two thirty that morning to let me know she was done partying and wanted to go home.