Not a good reaction, no. Sounds like an unhealthy relationship, and a serious trust issue that needed to be sorted out. Could be you being paranoid, could be him being untrustworty, could be a little of both. But using force like that will only either drive you apart, as it seems to have, or encourage him to hide things from you in the future.

Hun, your marriage was already over prior to today. I’m sorry to tell you that. The fact that he was neglecting the marriage when he met this new girl was an ominous sign. Also, his reaction towards the situation is another indicator. The fact that he got mad at you and demanded a divorce when you took his phone away and deleted her shows you where his heart prefers to be. There’s a quote that says “Let people do what they want to do so that you’ll see what they’d rather do.” Go forward with the divorce because at this point your marriage is irreparable.

then divorce it is.. if he holds his relationship with her higher than your marriage and you don’t trust him it’s time to be done. it sucks and I’m sorry about this pain but deal with what’s in front of you mourn and move on to the next chapter. it’ll be a better one