Work: Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting...

By picklet - 12/05/2012 14:36 - Malaysia - Kajang

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 4 536

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 26/04/2016 05:04 - United States - Kenosha

Today, I started a new job. The synopsis of my training was, "You're starting a job you're going to hate and you'll be fired for entertaining yourself while waiting for us to give you more work. But you're going to love being here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 1 917

End of the road

By Anonymous - 02/04/2021 21:30

Today, I landed my dream job with an international company. I figured I could work this until retirement, only to find out they hired me to shut down operations in my market. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 79

By Username - 19/05/2011 15:13

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 80 623

Time to move on

By mischalucksux - 19/09/2016 13:54 - United States

Today, I finally have a job I love with amazing people I call family and a fantastic boss. I've been here 8 months, and I'm doing a great job, I feel like I could work here forever! My most recent project? Printing our "Store closing sale" signs for liquidation. We permanently close in 7 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 878

You deserved it 1 081

By Not a programmer yet - 01/09/2015 15:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss told me that the company will be hiring a programmer for our department. I had the idea for the position when we went over my 3-year career path last month, but it wasn't approved. I now get to look over résumés from other people applying for my dream job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 727

You deserved it 1 612

Now hiring

By BossLady - 05/01/2022 08:01

Today, it's my first day as the boss, after waiting months for this promotion. Today is also the day my replacement, who I trained for three months, quit. Now I've got two jobs for the price of one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 110

By smellslikeahangover - 29/07/2015 02:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 830

You deserved it 1 824

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 05:03 - United States

Today, I started the internship of my dreams. The company has nothing for me to do, so I sit and stare at the clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 109

Cutting corners

By givemestrength - 14/08/2014 10:31 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss expects me to conduct a meeting with a client, give him all the info he needs, and manage his campaign. This is because he fired the "expensive" marketing director and wants me, the intern, to continue his work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 514

You deserved it 3 279

**** those guys

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 20:00

Today, I went into work with the mentality that all of my ass-busting work was going to result in me finally being promoted to manager. We had a site meeting. The entire building is being laid off because Apple cut our contract. Yay, I'm out of a job. I hate Apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 147

You deserved it 225

tellithowitis 13

Saturday 12 May 2012 20:01

Don't potate appreciate

ghostlilac 25

Saturday 12 May 2012 20:02

Why are you complaining? That's awesome!

Comments

sarbear293 4

Sunday 13 May 2012 3:13

Where can I apply?

PamChopsWithMint 5

Sunday 13 May 2012 3:53

What are you complaining about? That sounds awesome.

AliceLockehart 18

Sunday 13 May 2012 4:14

You have a 5 year job contract, in a job you've always wanted, & you're complaining? Fyl? More like **** you buddy. Not everyone has it that easy.

eyecon502 13

Sunday 13 May 2012 4:28

Are you working for Snoop?

havocmike 3

Sunday 13 May 2012 4:38

and now you've probably broken your confidentiality clause of that contract by bitching online. fool. good luck finding another job

fisch53 5

Sunday 13 May 2012 5:15

But can you COUNT to potato?

mrskellinquinn 6

Sunday 13 May 2012 5:19

I would kill for that job man!

misshighjinks 5

Sunday 13 May 2012 6:20

Sounds like a perfect job to me!

Calyx_fml 21

Sunday 13 May 2012 6:47

So you're forced to work there for five years? I didn't know marketing slavery was legal in Malaysia?

kei1108 13

Sunday 13 May 2012 7:18

I would pay to be a part of that meeting... So how does a potato go about potating?

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Health Gross Food Work Solitude Friends Love AITA Relationship advice Kids Relatable Thief Roommate Miscellaneous Cute Dogs Animals YouTube Cars Parents Painful Ironic Management Transportation First Dates Poopoo peepee Family Intimacy

The Top

Today, my husband is leaving me because he did a paternity test on our 4 year-old daughter and found out she’s not his. The night of my bachelorette party I drunkenly hooked up with two men so I don’t know who the father is. He doesn’t understand that I was drunk and that family isn’t about blood, it’s about love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 809

Today, I was telling my mom my boyfriend started an argument because I’ve not been feeling well, so I haven’t cooked or wanted sex for a week or so. My dad piped up that if mom used such a lame excuse to avoid blowjobs and cooking, he’d damn we’ll start an argument too. Mom agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 282

The Top

Today, marks a whole month that my boss has asked me to come in early to my part-time job, which makes me pretty happy to get the extra hours. I casually made a joke that she might as well make me full-time now. That made her change her mind, now I'm back down to 23 hours a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 137

You deserved it 952

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 252

You deserved it 27 840

Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 234

You deserved it 9 157

Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 2 610

Today, I’m an adult and my mother lives with me, not me with her. She found out I was going to be gone for 9 days on vacation and that she couldn’t come, so she had a “mental break down” and checked herself into a psych ward. Last year, she did the same thing when I graduated college and celebrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 85

Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 635

You deserved it 11 479