Animals: Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats... - FML

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By Anonymoose - 25/12/2011 11:39 - Switzerland

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 637

You deserved it 55 496

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Same thing different taste

By iFail - 25/12/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 982

You deserved it 5 490

By catlover - 13/12/2012 11:04 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 227

You deserved it 32 319

By imahater07 - 25/12/2015 06:28

Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 234

You deserved it 1 704

By JC - 06/12/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 548

You deserved it 9 880

By kookoocatlady - 01/11/2016 04:31

Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 871

You deserved it 1 621

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 196

By DumbLackofLuck - 22/12/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 842

You deserved it 9 000

By tryon777 - 29/07/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 337

You deserved it 5 094

Spooky

By Lopez85 - 22/05/2024 22:00 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 125

By dogh8er - 18/12/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 140

You deserved it 3 557

Next

Top comments

Araoth 5

Sunday 25 December 2011 19:21

Did you dress as cat Santa? :)

Mr25_fml 14

Sunday 25 December 2011 19:26

Mr. Kibbles GO BACK TO SLEEP OR SANTA WON'T COME!!!! *Insert troll face here*

Comments

elywyn 6

Sunday 25 December 2011 22:56

I wish there was a like button on here

rattusrattus 18

Sunday 25 December 2011 23:02

Aren't cats nocturnal? I mean... *brain broke*

salamanderss11 1

Sunday 25 December 2011 23:06

Sucks

CataracsFan 10

Sunday 25 December 2011 23:07

People and their cats... I will never understand!

charlton2142 5

Sunday 25 December 2011 23:16

I'm sorry but your an idiot

THE_A_TEEN 27

Sunday 25 December 2011 23:41

I find it funny when people insult another person, then they misspell one word like "you're/your", "their/they're/there". Oh the savory delicious irony.

Linkerdoodles 15

Sunday 25 December 2011 23:45

I'm sorry, 111, but YOU'RE an idiot. …Wait, never mind. I'm not sorry.

jackovasaur 1

Sunday 25 December 2011 23:18

That's dedication

Sarah_moustache 9

Sunday 25 December 2011 23:18

You were Santa claws?

stupidisntcute 0

Sunday 25 December 2011 23:20

Too sweet!!!!

old09 11

Sunday 25 December 2011 23:30

You are an awesome Christmas kitty mom At least it gave ya Something too do

Rachel1987 4

Monday 26 December 2011 0:10

Maybe that's why you are alone...

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The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 501

You deserved it 5 353

Today, after spending money on all the furniture and decor in our apartment, paying rent every month from my bank account, paying for all the groceries, and paying for all the dog supplies, my fiance asked why I don't keep saving thousands of dollars every month, while he pays for none of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 461

The Top

Today, my parents took me to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday. They brought my little brother, but when the bouncer wouldn't allow him in, they made me wait outside with him while they went in for drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 259

You deserved it 540

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend. I did my best to get him hard, and as always, I succeeded, but he still didn’t bother to look up from his phone. Unfortunately this happens almost every time I try to have sex with him. I guess TikTok is more important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 187

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 562

You deserved it 25 976

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 462

You deserved it 7 767

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 224

You deserved it 4 282

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 408

You deserved it 2 728