Sex and Intimacy: Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in...

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 962

You deserved it 40 648

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Same thing different taste

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 057

You deserved it 1 445

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 088

You deserved it 7 767

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 17 912

Bragging

By lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 726

You deserved it 3 173

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 871

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 009

You deserved it 4 817

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 827

You deserved it 6 059

Do me

By noneofthesex - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 535

You deserved it 12 157

By okay._. - 01/11/2012 07:54 - United States - Marysville

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 514

You deserved it 7 411

latuka 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 16:03

OUCH.

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 17 March 2009 16:08

So he couldn't be arsed to have phone sex? So what? Usually it takes a long time and the guy could have brought himself to ****** at least twice by the time the dirty talk turns the women on enough to climax. I see no FML here. More like FMF (**** my fingers). Buy a vibrator. On a side note it's really his loss. Phone sex can be very hot. :)

Comments

Grand_Marquis 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:11

So? He's got a point..

Riceman80 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:16

You, my female friend, got owned. That was for men everywhere, whether he knew what he was doing at the time, or not :)

green_199 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:23

That's because he was hittin' some other when you texted!

Zooma_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 2:25

Obvioulsy you are quite unattractive seeing that your boyfriend does not respond to your pathetic sexual attempts. In my view, you deserved it, idiot.

RockerFellow56 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 2:34

if i was her i wuld of dumped ur ass!!!!!!!!

crazydoug 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 2:44

ill be over there right now!

rose33red99 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 3:20

For all the guys that keep saying that when women turn down sex it's normal but when guys do it's insane, to girls, I've never turned down my guy so chill on that stereotype too.

ambrosia21 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 3:40

i think the FML is directed toward his response, not necessarily to the fact her bf didn't want to have sex. if she was that horny, masturbating would've been fine anyway. just because he denied sex once does not make him gay or her ugly, it also does not mean she should break up with him.