Intimacy, Sex and Embarrassing: Today, I texted my husband saying, “No sex tonight, it’s a bloodbath”...

By EmbarrassedWife - 10/01/2019 04:00

Today, I texted my husband saying, “No sex tonight, it’s a bloodbath” and realized it was in a group chat with his parents, not directly to him like I'd intended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 405

You deserved it 2 031

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Same thing different taste

Whatsapp? Not much

By Cat - 12/04/2019 19:00 - Greece - Athens

Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 3 747

By Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 542

You deserved it 24 118

Unreasonable

By ImConfused - 29/05/2023 00:02

Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 289

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 389

You deserved it 8 830

By Anonymous - 11/03/2017 12:00

Today, after a brief FaceTime session, I accidentally texted my father what was meant for my boyfriend. I had to downplay it, but it still made me want to crawl 50 ft below the earth and stay there a few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 607

You deserved it 1 326

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 362

You deserved it 1 521

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 369

You deserved it 17 911

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 008

You deserved it 4 815

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 04:05 - United States

Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 596

You deserved it 40 415

By Anonymous - 19/12/2018 20:00

Today as I was waiting at the gynecologist I texted my husband to see if birth control pills were covered on our insurance...yep texted my boss instead who I had been asking about a raise..don’t think I’ll be getting that raise... FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 046

You deserved it 660

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 10 January 2019 4:27

More like F your husband’s life. Well, not his whole life...just his week. And no F’ing for a few days.

merican_redneck4 11

Friday 18 January 2019 1:11

Hey when the red river flows take the dirt road

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 10 January 2019 4:27

More like F your husband’s life. Well, not his whole life...just his week. And no F’ing for a few days.

Virids 13

Thursday 10 January 2019 12:05

That mini heart attack I'm sure most of us know.

Sinshine 28

Thursday 10 January 2019 14:12

If this is Whatsapp or a similar messenger, just delete the message before they read it.

blahblabbity 19

Thursday 10 January 2019 20:20

tell them you were talking about game of thrones

zuckerburg 21

Friday 11 January 2019 13:42

Het Chris al gery?

fde2blknimout 18

Saturday 12 January 2019 10:17

And still its a mystery why some men cheat

merican_redneck4 11

Friday 18 January 2019 1:11

Hey when the red river flows take the dirt road

JackWood 20

Thursday 9 June 2022 14:45

It washes off, js

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

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You deserved it 4 844

Today, I realised that I'm addicted to a porn game… not because of the porn. The simple gameplay mechanic of combining objects on a board to make new objects makes my brain happy. I found myself feeling depressed at the thought that I'd have to wait 3 hours for my moves to recharge before I could play again. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 277

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I agree, your life sucks 24 937

You deserved it 4 018

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I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 102

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I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 207

Today, after three weeks of my boss telling me how much he appreciates my hard work and has submitted my name up for a promotion, he called me into his office to announce I'm being laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 157

You deserved it 2 350