Miscellaneous: Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom...

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 627

You deserved it 74 789

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Same thing different taste

Privacy

By whyme27 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 937

You deserved it 4 479

By me - 08/06/2012 14:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 488

You deserved it 2 711

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 8 895

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 721

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 2 608

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 717

You deserved it 2 759

Shock and awe

By Embarassed Girl - 14/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 803

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 919

Dump the dump

By lily anne - 30/01/2022 02:00

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 144

lindseylindsey39 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:11

Hahah I do that all the time.

rukusrazor 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:12

Eww, stall call.

Comments

Six_and_the_Moon 3

Tuesday 26 May 2009 2:30

Meh. I would have just laughed. It baffles me how people get so freaked over using the toilet. Unless the person can actually *hear* you using it (plop plop fizz fizz, anyone?) or you are incapable of using one hand and thus touching the phone with your hands before you wash them, who honestly cares? There are so many worse things to worry about than someone weeing or logging out while they talk to you. A few of my friends will chat with me on MSN on their laptops while using the washroom. I really don't care. I'm halfway across town in my comfy chair watching videos and eating Smarties. They could be fapping to pr0ns or shaving their arse for all it matters. Not an FML, IMO. Not a big deal.

spf_thunder 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:48

ur an idiot

Purane2forever 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 19:20

JEEZE #168 ur a dick.. n i didnt even kno girls pooed

Choochii 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 0:44

LMAO..

beany212 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 4:21

My nose hurts now. Why? Because you shouldn't drink soda and read FML at the same time.

lastminuteperm 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 6:38

Good job.

DevineLegacy 0

Friday 14 August 2009 5:41

thats grose, just say u would call them back, bad impulse to say that. just make a joke out of it

Lovebug27 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 8:53

#169 did u ever take a health class or even no a girl and it didn't say if she bm or just peed so ya

supernova77_fml 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 1:48

#30 ~~ what a waste of water >>" ~ wut did u think tht yr husband wud think u were gross if he heard u droppin bombs ..? if it bothers u tht much, close the door and use sum febreeze.

terriibabiiix23 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 2:41

first of all, whose "him" ? your bf ? well, imma just assume that it is. second, you could have covered the mouth piece on the phone so when you yelled, your bf wouldn't hear that. YDI for being dumbb.