Miscellaneous: Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house....

By Celluloid - 29/04/2011 06:52 - United States

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 088

You deserved it 39 881

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By FlorenceD - 12/08/2012 04:34 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 466

You deserved it 10 854

By thunderthighs644 - 23/11/2011 03:21

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 341

You deserved it 11 875

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 749

You deserved it 26 523

By combo - 28/02/2010 09:12 - France

Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 977

You deserved it 27 541

Red alert

By Life With Cats - 15/08/2022 22:00

Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 244

Woodland mystery

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 22:58 - Germany

Today, walking in the woods, I heard someone screaming like crazy. First I thought it might be a hurt animal, but then I heard syllables in the screams. When I yelled, “What’s going on there?!” there was only silence. It was so creepy, I’m too scared to walk my dogs there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 179

By i see fat people - 07/12/2012 21:10 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 110

You deserved it 9 886

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 632

You deserved it 3 138

By erianne - 07/05/2018 15:00

Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 880

You deserved it 611

By LostSleep - 24/05/2016 21:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 754

You deserved it 786

CateXOX 0

Friday 29 April 2011 12:07

Before anyone else jumps to conclusions about OP's weight, I would like to point out that just because her thighs rub together does not mean she's fat.

Darcon 8

Friday 29 April 2011 11:51

looool! Thunder thighs!

Comments

cobras40 0

Friday 29 April 2011 12:18

lol u idiot

Wheredidgrungego 12

Friday 29 April 2011 12:22

Because skin flopping together totally sounds like footsteps!

burritobitch 0

Friday 29 April 2011 16:24

lol

GagaForGaga103 1

Friday 29 April 2011 23:48

ha I know right:D

invicta8926 0

Friday 29 April 2011 12:22

Don't leave the gas stove on..........BOOM!

iknowimawesome 13

Friday 29 April 2011 12:22

Are your thighs really that loud?

flyboy96 0

Friday 29 April 2011 12:23

You know you're fat when...

callofduty4life 0

Friday 29 April 2011 12:26

you cant see your penis over your belly

HarryMcC 1

Friday 29 April 2011 12:28

when you're thighs rub together and it sounds like someone walking

iLazy 0

Friday 29 April 2011 13:17

you'd rather laze at home than go out with friends

lionheart822 13

Friday 29 April 2011 14:35

when you can't fit through a door. you're mistaken for a new species. feel too lazy to walk after waking up. when your car loses air from just sitting in it. when you smell like you're smuggling Cubans(no offense) in your flabs. when your FUPA gets mistaken for a baby on the way.

ProhibitionRose 14

Friday 29 April 2011 15:54

^lol 49 is win

lionheart822 13

Friday 29 April 2011 16:07

lol "49"? did you mean me(59)? or the one before me(39)? =P

ProhibitionRose 14

Friday 29 April 2011 17:14

stupid lying phone>.< I was referring to you

lionheart822 13

Friday 29 April 2011 17:26

haha oh! well then, thank you =)

bms1996 12

Friday 15 July 2011 2:54

you don't have to be fat for your thighs to touch...

silentblack 0

Friday 29 April 2011 12:25

wow.

mostyn 0

Friday 29 April 2011 12:26

TROLOLOLOL YDI FOR HAVING LEGS LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL FMyLife.com WOOO.

Monstee 2

Friday 29 April 2011 12:37

shake shake

iLazy 0

Friday 29 April 2011 12:46

There's a restraunt called phat ho. Do you go there?

carcinogan 0

Friday 29 April 2011 14:24

lmaooo

tnf0920 9

Friday 29 April 2011 14:52

Is you're referring to fat hoe burgers that place is disgusting and should be shut down...it probably will be soon.

hiyourcute 0

Friday 29 April 2011 15:25

I'm pretty sure he's talking about an Asian restaurant, considering the spelling of "phat" and "ho"... but don't mind me, I'm just the girl with more than half a brain cell...