Intimacy: Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford... - FML

By ehwat - 26/11/2009 05:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 895

You deserved it 12 801

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Same thing different taste

By fuckered519 - 06/12/2014 19:53 - United States - Du Quoin

Spicy

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 241

You deserved it 12 614

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 21:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 640

You deserved it 5 532

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Spicy

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 310

You deserved it 48 646

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 680

You deserved it 9 737

By selfishsexysanta - 24/12/2012 18:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 446

You deserved it 13 841

Cheers

By imgoingtofreakout - 26/12/2017 19:00

Spicy

Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 563

You deserved it 656

Preparation

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 446

By Doy - 19/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 531

You deserved it 8 553

By lovinglife - 24/12/2011 12:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I wrapped my boyfriend's Christmas presents for him, because he was too lazy to do it himself. This included my own present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 584

You deserved it 6 347

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 628

You deserved it 33 116

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Thursday 26 November 2009 12:37

Reiterate that you have no money. You just can't afford to hire a guy to pack his fudge.

popemichael 9

Thursday 26 November 2009 14:47

FYL? More like FYA! Have fun ^_^

Comments

fyriwolf666 8

Monday 21 December 2009 13:37

Tell him to bend over. ;D

DarkerNukes 2

Wednesday 23 December 2009 19:18

QFT! best advice ever xD

JessiKitty_lol 7

Tuesday 22 December 2009 2:03

LOL

kimilei 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 15:27

Just let him ****** try it. You won't know if you like it or not unless you try it.

kirinkinetic 0

Monday 28 December 2009 8:28

anal isn't so bad really unless he's a complete moron and rams it the heck in without loosening you up and lubing every inch of his manhood as well as your insides. If he does then feel free to kick him in the balls and tell him that is just what you felt.

HippieOrc 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 12:31

Anal... the gift that keeps on giving.

Jzepeda07 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 2:38

that's the best Christmas present ever.

ellawea 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 18:58

it's even if you do.

suckmysarcasm 10

Saturday 16 January 2010 5:00

oh come on let him cum down your chimney ^^

freshx_fml 6

Wednesday 10 February 2010 22:50

tell your boyfriend sodomy is a sin.

1733817338 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 6:47

seriously ppl her choice. plus christmas isnt bout presents its bout being wit loved ones

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Keywords

Public freakouts Miscellaneous Awkward Relatable Health Clumsy Work Music Concert Scams Love Lonely Embarrassing Management Sex Moving home Ironic Cheating Relationship advice Kids Hair Fire Birthday Accident Cute Transportation Snow Cars Solitude Confused

The Top

Today, I have such chronic back pain that I can usually never get comfortable, but I found the perfect position to lie in bed, and was nearly 100% pain free. I felt so good. Someone knocked on the door, so I had to answer it. They'd got the wrong house number. I couldn’t find that perfect position again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 112

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 112

The Top

Today, I had a phone interview, my first job interview in months. Two seconds in, I not only lost my signal, my phone froze up and stopped working completely. For six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 103

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 55

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 089

You deserved it 2 879

Today, my students are asking friends and family to come to a charity event. That would be all well if they weren't constantly mixing up "Rally Against Genocide" and "Support Genocide Victims" and telling everyone to come to the "Rally to Support Genocide". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 112

You deserved it 320

Today, my girlfriend and I went to a shop known for its hardcore sex toys. We happened to run into one of my university lecturers and her wife discussing butt plugs with a member of staff, and then saw my aunt and uncle at the register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 715

You deserved it 1 210

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 110

You deserved it 14 370